


The Rest is Still Unwritten

by Verdandi (Zifnabsdragon)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Baggage, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Past Lives, Reincarnation, Soul Bond, Soul mate, Wet Dream, denial in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:00:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4665777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zifnabsdragon/pseuds/Verdandi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're supposed to want a soul mate, it's the perfect ideal. However, Tony Stark wants nothing to do with it. After watching his parents, who were soul-bonded, suffer through a loveless marriage, he is perfectly happy with his non-soulmate Pepper. That is until a certain Super Soldier is found frozen in the ice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's always darkest before the dawn

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [SOUL-MATE NOT NEEDED!!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2343611) by [beizanten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beizanten/pseuds/beizanten), [Kathryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kathryn/pseuds/Kathryn). 



Soul-bonding is a rare occurrence with only about 10-12 confirmed bondings in America each year. Soul-bonding occurs when two souls are such a perfect match that they call out to each other across time and space. The rarest, and therefore most yearned for, type of soul-bonding is called the Twinflame. Two souls who find each other in each reincarnation, so not even death can destroy their love.

Soul-bonding is a romanticized notion.

The Alexandrine Institute for the Study and Tracking of Soulmates has this to say on the subject of soulmates-

_"[Soulmate:] A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet — a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior._

_Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness, and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much more aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful."_

Children are taught about how perfect, wonderful, and sacred Soulmates and Twinflames are. It is what everyone should aspire to. And the lucky few who achieve this fairy tale should be looked upon with awe and reverence.

Tony isn’t fool in the slightest; his own parent are living proof of the ugly truth. Soul-bonding isn’t the sacred or glorious thing that people, novels, and television make it out to be, and not all soul-bounded couples are happy.

The statistic that never gets mentioned is that 2% of soul-bonded couples have broken up/divorced —each and every case highly publicized in the news, because people believe soul-bonds are sacred and everlasting and want to know what went wrong.

Then there are the soulmates who aren’t happy but stay together anyway, because that is what society expects of them. So they are trapped in a never ending cycle of misery. That is the situation his mom is in, waiting, constantly waiting for her soulmate to make her life perfect, and growing increasingly bitter, resentful, and withdrawn the longer the ideal eludes her.

Howard and Maria Stark are soulmates, but his mother is so miserable and Howard ... Howard is obsessed with his work, and finding Captain America (and the Super Soldier serum in Captain America’s blood) that his attention is divided three ways: the company, the bottle, and Captain America.

Sure, his mother once told him how his father used to be everything she ever wanted. Loving and attentive, completely devoted to his Cinderella. But now his mother drinks and stays out late to forget a husband who is never there, not since she became pregnant with their son.

When Tony is only two years old and Howard’s search has yielded nothing since finding the Tesseract, he turns to the bottle to forget his woes. He seems angry all the time and comes home from work tired, only to lock himself in his workshop, and as soon as he is done fixing or inventing, he will celebrate with a three day drinking binge.

Maria drowns in depression. She does her best to remain an attentive mother, but the days she can't get out of bed become more and more frequent as Tony gets older. Many days Jarvis is the one to take care of him, telling Tony his mother just "feels a bit ill today". Tony won't understand until he's older that his mother was ill with a sickness of the heart.

Things get some what better with the advent of anti-psychotic drugs. His mother can at least function most days. Howard still remains distant and uncaring. All the way up until the day of his and Maria's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a line from the song Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine  
> Story title is from the song Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield  
> EDIT 11-3-17: I changed Maria's character in this chapter to better reflect how she was portrayed in Civil War


	2. Don't get too close, it's dark inside

After the palladium poison debacle, not only did Tony manage to convince Pepper to continue running his company, but they shared their first kiss, slash, make out session. Pepper is brilliant, frighteningly efficient and, most importantly, possesses a keen eye for details, and never seems to fail at a task given to her. Tony was in way over his head.

Pepper was the best thing to ever happened to him. He trusted her with his company and his heart. Not an easy feat for him.

He had trusted Obediah, he stupidly trusted Obie, enough that he had given him every security override he had. Both Jarvis and Stane had become his father figures long before Howard died. Both men made it their mission to know him as well as he knew himself, and became Tony’s pillar in life for totally different reasons. Tony wishes he had figured out Obie’s reasons earlier.

Instead of protecting and caring for him like Jarvis had, the man found and cracked every single one of his issues and manipulated them perfectly. Then he committed the ultimate betrayal, cumulating in attacking Tony in his own home.

He worries about how Pepper feels being in a relationship with a guy who can’t even get over his fears enough to let her see him without a shirt on, when he used to be able to trust her enough to put her hand inside his chest. But that was before Obie’s betrayal.

Most girlfriends would have taken it personally that Rhodey was the only other exception to the ‘don’t like to be handed things’ rule. Especially when she knows that Rhodey suspected something was wrong with him during the palladium poisoning, that Rhodey had help him change his arc reactor, and had seen the burnt out palladium core.

That he had taken out the reactor, and handed it over to Rhodey; just handed over the thing that was keeping him alive, with all the trust in the world that Rhodey would never hurt him. And simply reached out and accepted the new core his friend handed to him without checking to see if it had been tampered with.

He has tried to get over his fear, but every time he's thought about exposing himself so completely and intimately with her, something inside him freezes up and all he could see is Obadiah reaching for the Arc reactor.

Any other woman would have become territorial and might even have insisted Tony choose between her and Rhodey, but not Pepper. He must have done something good in a past life to deserve someone like her.

There was also the problem with his nightmares. The slightest noise roused him from sleep. But Pepper, being the amazing woman that she was, never once complained about his nightmares waking her up. She just calmly talked him through the first few disorienting moments until his breathing calms. Then she pulled his arms around her as he drifted back to sleep.

It made him love her more every day.

He was finally ready to settle down and try the whole responsibility thing. Being with Pepper was joy and comfort, something that he had never felt before in his life. His only regret was that it had taken so many years to realize how strongly he felt for her.

Tony was aware that an amazing woman like Pepper deserved so much better, and tried to be a better man for her. He actually made the effort to sleep on a more reasonable schedule, eat healthier, tried really hard to listen to her with empathy when she needs to vent about her day, and made sure to never go back to being an alcoholic.

Her smile is so blinding Tony could still see it even when he closes his eyes.

Nothing could go wrong.

So of course it did.

A crazy Norse God decided to attack earth and Tony's evening with Pepper is interrupted by Agent.

He knows he shouldn’t, but after reading the report about the great Captain America being found alive, his curiosity won out and he hacked into Shield’s security cameras.

Captain Rogers was in a gym, beating the living hell out of a punching bag.

It's just an image, not even in color, but Tony felt a bolt shoot through his body. Captain America was still as youthful as he had been in those film reels that his dad used to keep around, if a little more tense around the eyes, and somber around the mouth.

Something inside Tony twisted and he was overcome with an intense feeling of longing. The man on the screen looks so lost and alone. Tony didn't realize he was reaching for the screen until his fingers touch it. He snapped out of his trance. What the hell? Why was he getting all worked up about a ninety year old man? He switched off the feed and resolutely tried to forget about wide shoulders and blonde hair.

 

JARVIS patched through a call informing him that Loki had been spotted in Struttberg, Germany. JARVIS pulled up the location ‘Stuttgart Germany, 28 Coolins, Straza’ and Tony blast his way toward to the scene. It was some kind of concert hall.

Apparently, Loki was a Diva.

His scan of the Quinjet reveiled a familiar face.

"Agent Romanoff, you miss me?" He hacked the Quinjet's PA system and streamed 'Shoot to Thrill' through the speakers.

Loki wasn't the only Diva.

Tony knew Captain America would be there, it had been in the radio chatter JARVIS had intercepted. Tony landed next to him and they exchanged a simple greeting. No big deal. Any pull he'd felt towards the guy was just the remains of some hero worship as a kid.

They get Loki on the Quinjet and head back to the Helicarrier. Tony debated leaving his helmet on but then Rogers pulled off his cowl and started talking to him. Tony decided that he's a full grown man, he could look his childhood crush in the eye without swooning.

He pulled off the helmet just as Rogers was telling him that Loki surrendered too easily.

Tony looked him in the eye to deliver his response.

Everyone knew that the second you come face to face with your soulmate you know it. Some have described it to be like fireworks, while others prefer the lightning analogy.

For Tony it was the lightning strike, a pull almost too overwhelming to process. Everything slowed down and fell silent and he couldn't even tell if he was still breathing or not.

And the worst part was that his look of startled realization was being mirror by Rogers.

Tony had the sudden urge to throw himself out the back of the Quinjet.

Thank Norse Deity that he had an excuse to do just that not thirty seconds later.

 

Fighting the God o' Thunder was a great distraction. He didn't think about Super Soldiers for like five whole minutes. Until said Super Soldier crashed the party and totally schooled Thor.

Natasha came to pick them up and Thor agreed to come with them to the Helicarrier.

"Well," Tony said, "fours a crowd, so.." And he took off, completely ignoring the hurt look on Roger's face.

He had the whole flight back to get his emotions under control and figure out what the hell was going on.

"Jarvis, what were my vitals showing right before Thor showed up?"

_"Increased activity in the caudate nucleus area of the brain and a spike in dopamine and norepinephrine production. In short, all the scientific signs you just experienced a soul-bond with Captain Rogers."_

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! SHIT!"

_"Indeed sir."_

"This cannot be happening. It's not happening. I refuse to have this happen." He could feel himself panicking. It was the one thing he had prayed would never happen to him. Okay, he had never actually prayed prayed, but still. He'd watched his parents flounder in a loveless marriage and all because some stupid chemical reaction in the brain had demanded they be together. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

_"I don't know sir."_

 

Seeing Rogers on the Helicarrier was just as bad as Tony thought it would be. As soon as Tony walked into the room, Rogers face lit up and he got up out of his chair. Tony ignored him and went right over to Banner and began talking science in the most obnoxious way possible, knowing it will all go over Rogers' head.

He did his best not to let Rogers see how much being in the same room as him was effecting Tony. Even when he was in the lab and Rogers came in, he just needled him and ignored any attempts Rogers made to start a decent conversation.

It must have worked pretty well because Rogers stopped giving him puppy dog eyes and instead scowled before leaving. It worked even better when Rogers came back to confront Fury about the weapons, except this time Rogers was just as willing to throw out insults.

"I'm sure if Stark was still making weapons he'd be neck deep in this."

Oh it was _on_.

"Everything special about you came out of a bottle."

They got nose to nose, exchanging insults and snarls. Tony desperately wanted to grab him by his spangly outfit and kiss him till he was moaning.

Seriously, if Loki had wanted to distract them he didn't need to blow a hole in the ship. He'd just needed to wait another thirty seconds and Tony would have had Rogers pinned against a wall. Cause that was about how much longer his willpower would have held out for.

The explosion rocked the ship before Tony could lose control.

Thank Norse Deity.

 

Of course he and Rogers ended up working great together. Then they were the only two to be there when Fury threw down the blood soaked cards. The look of anguish on Steve's face when he looked at Coulson's prized possessions made Tony's heart ache to comfort him.

The whole planet being in danger helped Tony focus his attention away from Steve. Well mostly, cause it was in front of Steve that he let his hurt and anger over Coulson's death come out. In retrospect Tony should have known at that moment he was doomed, he would never have let his emotions show that much unless it was someone he trusted.

They fought weird aliens who had living ships. It was the most insane thing Tony had ever done. He naturally found himself deferring to Steve's leadership. After all, he reasoned, the guy had been in an actual war before.

He got Fury's call about the nuclear missile and he made the choice almost instantly.

"Stark, that's a one way trip." He pretended not to hear Steve's voice cracking over the comms. "Tony."

He turned the comms off and tried to dial Pepper.

 

He regained consciousness and the first thing he saw was Steve, leaning over him with a look of intense relief. He was too out of it to even care he was returning Steve's smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caudate Nucleus is the part of the brain that researchers show to be highly active when someone is head over heels in love. Dopamine and Norepinephrine are brain chemicals associated with pleasurable activities and excitement. I do my homework. ;)  
> Chapter title is from the song Demons by Imagine Dragons  
> I live for comments from you my lovely readers so please indulge me.


	3. I wanna hide the truth

 

 

 

Tony didn't tell Pepper. How could he?

Finding the person who is your soulmate often happened at the most unexpected time and all too often one or both parties were already in a relationship. Society told you that as soon as you experienced a soul-bonding you were supposed to ditch the non-soulmate you were with, and that poor bastard was supposed to be happy for you. Tony thought that was a load of shit. He loved Pepper, she was the most important thing to him. Not a ninety year old soldier who had been frozen for a couple of decades.

His denial worked for at least two days, then the dreams started.

 

The way you know that your soul-bonding is actually a Twinflame is when you start having the dreams about your past lives together.

 

_They are standing on a battlefield in the early morning light. Fog is still clinging to the ground and he knows that the enemy is going to use it to their advantage._

_Standing next to him is a tall blonde haired man. The strength and calm he is showing helps calm Anthony._

_"We probably won't survive today," he tells Steven. And he's not being the least melodramatic._

_Steven turns to him and Anthony's heart clenches in grief at the sadness in his lover's eyes. "I know."_

_"How long do you think it will take us to reincarnate this time?" Anthony really wants to ask how long it will take them to find each other once they are reincarnated but he can't even think about how he will have to live without Steven for even a short period in his new life._

_Steven steps in close and grips the back of Anthony's head in one large, strong hand. "It doesn't matter," he tells him. "It doesn't matter because I will always find you no matter how long it takes or how many miracles I have to pull off to do it. I will always come back to you."_

_Anthony has to close his eyes as he tries to fight back the tears. "We got so little time together this time."_

_"I know."_

_They had met on a battlefield similar to this one, except then they had been on opposite sides. Anthony had nearly been killed when the soul-bond had swept over him, only Steven's quick action had saved him from a fellow soldiers blade. Anthony had shed his Confederate uniform that day and donned the Union colors. He didn't care about what he believed was right or wrong in this war, it only mattered that he could be with Steven. And now he was going to lose him here on the fields of Gettysburg._

_Steven pulls Anthony close and kisses him. It doesn't matter who sees, the time for hiding is gone when you know you're going to die. Plus Steven's commander knows that he and Anthony are Twinflames. Sometimes reincarnation thinks it's funny to switch around genders so exceptions are made for them._

_"I will find you again, I swear it."_

_They hear the call for battle. Gripping their rifles tight they charge the enemy. No one expects to win this battle. The Union has been receiving one defeat after another. The South is going to win._

_Then the battle turns._

_Anthony can hardly believe it. They may actually win._

_He hears the boom of a canon, a blast of dirt hits him right before the shrapnel rips through his chest. He hears Steven screaming his name. His lover grabs him as he goes down._

_"Anthony! Anthony stay with me!"_

_He wants to answer Steven but he can't speak past the pain. Steven lays him down gently then stands over him, protecting him from the chaos that surrounds them._

_At least he gets to die with his lover close by. There were those stories of Twinflames never meeting each other, they only realize the other exists if the person dies. It feels like someone has ripped out your heart and crushed it in their hands. Tony wonders if there has ever been a lifetime where Steven and he didn't find each other. If so, he doesn't remember it. Nor does he want to._

_Steven jerks and stumbles back, blood is soaking the right shoulder of his uniform. He jerks again and Anthony watches in horror as crimson blooms from Steven's gut. Steven collapses to the ground, not moving._

_With the last of his strength Anthony crawls the short distance to Steven's body. The battle has turned and the Union is going to claim victory. It is a win they desperately needed._

_Anthony doesn't care. He lays himself on top of Steven as the world around him dims. His last thought is more of a prayer._

_Please let them have more time together next time._

 

Tony woke up with a start. Next to him Pepper was still sleeping. He carefully slid out of bed and made his way down to his workshop. Pepper was used to waking up without him, she wouldn't suspect anything.

Not that there was anything to suspect, Tony told himself as he toyed with the pieces of a project he'd been working on. It was just one dream, it didn't mean anything. He'd been consumed with the idea of having a soulmate and of course he'd thought about the whole Twinflame thing. Who wouldn't. That was why he'd had the dream, his subconscious must have been showing him his fear. He just needed to pull himself together and never again see Steve Rogers.

 

He saw Steve the next day.

Steve didn't see him since Steve was on the TV. The guy was out trying to help with the clean up from the battle. A camera crew caught him in action lifting up a piece of debris so that rescue workers could reach the two people who were trapped under it. Steve's muscles strained and flexed. Tony had to adjust his pants.

After the daring rescue, news reporter's words, not his, the news report cut to a shot of Steve standing alone, bottle of water in hand. It was a great shot because Steve was looking up and out, looking kinda sad and lost. It looked as though he was looking out at the destruction of the city, maybe feeling bad about how much damage they'd done. But Tony recognized the skyline Steve was looking at and Stark Tower stood right in the middle of it.

Tony shut the TV off and went back down to his workshop.

 

Tony didn't mean to have all the Avengers move into the tower, it just sort of happened. First was Bruce who didn't have anywhere else to go and Tony loved having someone around to talk shop with.

Clint is next. Tony found out that Shield was detaining the poor guy because they were concerned that he could relapse back into mind control. This was despite Thor's assurances before he left that Loki couldn't exert control over his victims anymore.

Tony and Natasha broke into Shield and spring the archer. Tony immediately flew Clint back to the Tower, put the whole building on lock-down, and dared Fury to just try and get to him.

Disappointingly Fury didn't even try. Probably because he hadn't wanted to detain Barton and was happy to let Tony take him. It had seemed rather easy to break him out. Still, he was going to keep Barton close until they were sure he wasn't going to disapear into some government hole. Naturally Natasha moved in too.

"You going to need one room or two?" Tony asked her with his best shit eating grin.

She raised an eyebrow at him in answer.

"Hey I don't like to assume, you know what happens when you assume, right?"

"Trust me Stark, nothing could possibly make you more of an ass." She ended up claiming a room separate from, but near Barton's.

Tony should have realized what he'd done, but in his defense he was trying really hard not to think about Steve or anything that had to do with him. So he was caught completely off guard by Clint's question the next morning.

"When is Steve moving in?"

Tony nearly choked on his coffee but recovered in time so Clint didn't notice. Natasha did, but she'd probably notice if too many leaves had fallen off a particular tree in the middle of Central Park. "Why, why would he move in?" 

Clint shrugged, "Why not? The rest of us are living here. And when we go out on missions we don't have to keep tracking everyone down." Clint sipped his own coffee all calm, like he hadn't just backed Tony into a very tight corner.

"I doubt he'd want to live here." It was the best he could think up with his heart beating a mile a minute.

"I don't think he's holding a grudge for the things you said on the Helicarrier," Natasha informed him, oh so helpfully. "He was actually asking about you when I saw him yesterday."

"He did?" Dammit! He sounded way too interest there.

Natasha gave him the tiniest of smirks, "Yes, he wanted to make sure you didn't have any lasting damage from your heart stopping. I told him you were fine because you're actually a robot from a colony NASA set up on Mars."

"Remind me again why I'm letting you live here?"

"You should invite Steve to live here," Bruce said from where he was eating his granola. "He's probably lonely." Everyone was looking at Bruce and it was making him shift in his seat. "I just mean, he doesn't have any friends, we're probably the only people he's really talked to other than the people in charge of him at Shield."

Tony was being ganged up on, that's what it was. And now Bruce was pointing out the very real possibility that the strong leader who was Steve Roger could actually use a support group.

"Fine, yeah, you're right. Should absolutely invite him to stay at the clubhouse with the rest of us." Tony grabbed a bagel, "I'll go do it now, before that meeting Pepper is making me attend." Bagel and coffee in hand he fled the kitchen in the most dignified way he could manage.

Tony did invite Steve to live in the Tower. He composed a very casual email telling Steve how everyone else was living there so he might as well too. Then Tony erased the email and wrote three more drafts before he settled on a very, very casual approach where he told Steve to not even bother calling first and just show up if and when he wanted to. Very casual.

It could be argued that it was pretty underhanded for Tony to reach out to Steve via email. After all the guy was from the forties and may not have had email explained to him. Or even if he did, he probably never thought to check it. Someone could definitely argued that Tony had purposely used this form of communication exactly for those reasons.

 

Steve knew how to use email. And he checked it.

Two hours after Tony sent the email, Jarvis sent a text to his phone to let him know that Captain Rogers was at the Tower and that Miss Romanoff was helping him find a room. Tony would have groaned out loud and maybe even banged his head on the table, except he was in his meeting and some guy was droning on about profit shares. Pepper would object to such rude behavior.

So now Tony was going to have to go back home at some point and face his supposed future husband. Suddenly Tony was grateful for the meeting and the boring guy who had over prepared and had, what seemed to be, a couple of dozen PowerPoint presentations.

Tony sat up in his chair, folded his hands on top of the table and looked up at the guy like he was completely enthralled by all things that had to do with profit shares.

Unfortunately this seemed to throw the guy off and he lost his place and ended his presentation early, which ended the meeting early. Tony was torn between chagrin and wondering why he hadn't thought of this tactic years ago.

"Wanna get some lunch?" he asked Pepper with way more enthusiasm than he should of, not if the expression of surprise was anything to go by.

"Um, no I can't, sorry. I have a lunch meeting to go to."

"I could come, let whoever it is feel extra special because they get to meet me."

Now Pepper was eyeing him with obvious suspicion. "What are you trying to hide from? Is this about Steve?"

Tony went cold, "What do you mean?"

"Natasha told me what happened."

How did Natasha know? Wait, why didn't Pepper look upset? "What did she tell you exactly?"

Pepper gathered up her tablet and purse. "She told me how you and Steve Rogers got off to a rocky start and that you seemed uncomfortable when it was suggested Steve move in."

"How often do you and Romanoff talk?"

"Go home Tony, greet Steve, make him feel welcomed." She leaned down and gave him a peck on the cheek. "It'll be good for you."

Tony waited until she had left the conference room before he started banging his head on the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't live in the USA, the war that Steven and Anthony are in, is the American Civil War. Yes, I did that on purpose.  
> 3 chapters in under 24 hours, I'm impressed with myself. It won't last though, I will see how much I can get up over the weekend.  
> Chapter title is from the song Demons by Imagine Dragons  
> Leave comments, I must have comments! :)


	4. Regrets collect like old friends

Tony had a great plan. He would just have JARVIS tell him where Steve was and then Tony could avoid him.

It was a great plan.

The flaw in it was that he was going to ask JARVIS once he'd gotten in his private elevator. The problem with that was Steve was waiting for him right by said elevator.

Tony stopped as soon as he saw him. He ran through all of his options in his head. There weren't a whole lot of them and he was sure if he turn and ran, Pepper would somehow find out. So he straightened his shoulders and walked toward the elevator as if he hadn't just tried to figure out a plan of escape.

“Hey Cap, what's up?” He hit the button to open the doors and was surprised when nothing happened. He was the only one who used the elevator, well him and Pepper. But neither one of them were in the penthouse so the elevator should have been waiting on the ground floor.

“I need to talk to you.”

Tony punched the button a few more times. “Yeah? About what? Your room okay? Need a bigger bed? Olympic size swimming pool? Which we already have so if that's what you want-“

“You know what we need to talk about.”

“Ah, no I don't.” Had the elevator always taken this long? “I think you have us confused with the X-Men, they're the ones with telepaths.”

“Tony.” He saw Steve reaching for his arm and quickly stepped away. Steve pulled his hand back like he'd been burned, “I'm sorry.” He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Look I just wanted to tell you that I don't expect anything of you just because of soul-bonding. I know you have Miss Potts and I don't want to get in the way of that.”

Tony had been expecting a lot of things to come out of Steve’s mouth, but he hadn't expected this. “Hold on, don't you have all those old fashioned ideals about how a soul-bond is sacred? And how anyone who dares to go against chemistry should be shunned?”

Steve's jaw clenched, how was the guys face so muscular? “That was the general belief then and I know that here in the future, I mean the present, soul-bondings are still considered special and not to be ignored. But I don't feel that way. I don't believe you should be forced into anything against your will.”

Tony was having a hard time processing this. “Why?”

Steve looked away, like he was remembering something. “In the building where I grew up there was this couple who were soulmates. I remember everyone always made a big deal out of it. Their apartment was right next to ours and my bedroom and theirs shared a wall. I could hear him yelling at her constantly, putting her down, making her feel worthless. It eventually turned into physical violence. I told my mom about it, she just told me there was nothing we could do if the woman didn't want to leave her husband. I remember I was completely stumped as to why anyone would want to stay with someone who beat them. My mom told me that the woman was expected to stay with her husband because they were soulmates. She said that if the woman, our neighbor, tried to leave him that everyone would tell her she can't, that that's not how a soul-bond works. It was illegal back then to get a divorce if you were soul-bonded. My mom said it would even end up in the newspapers and that people would start accosting her in the streets.” Steve looked back at Tony, “That's when I decided that if I ever became soul-bonded I would not force the other person to be with me if they didn't want to. And it's pretty obvious you don't want to be with me.” Steve tried to smile but it didn't quite work.

Tony felt like a complete asshole. “That's not, it's not you. Okay that was horribly cliché. What I mean is that I just don't want a soulmate period. Doesn't matter who it is, I just don't want it. Ever.”

“I get it. I really do. But I do hope we can still work together, I thought we made a really great team.” Steve looked hesitant but hopeful.

“I think so too. And I wouldn't have asked you to stay here if I didn't.” Tony couldn't help feeling immensely pleased by the happy look on Steve's face.

“Thanks, it means a lot to hear that.” He glanced at the elevator, pulled out his phone and began typing. “I'll tell Natasha and Clint to send the elevator down now.”

“Hold on, that’s why its not working? Was this a set up?”

“Well you were avoiding me.”

“Did you,” Tony licked his lips nervously, “did you tell them?”

Steve looked up sharply, “No, of course not. I told them this was about the fight we had on the helicarrier. That I just wanted to clear the air.”

“I'm sorry, are you telling me that Captain America lied?” Tony asked pretending to be taken aback.

Steve rolled his eyes, “I know how to lie.”

“Obviously, I'm just shocked that you did. Isn't that against the ethical code of National Icons.” Tony grinned, “Are you being corrupted by the modern age?”

The elevator doors opened with a ding. Clint and Natasha were standing there looking way too pleased with themselves.

“Hey Stark,” Clint said. “You've got a great view.”

“Get out of my elevator.”

The duo exited the elevator and Tony got in.

“I'm revoking your access passes, by the way.”

“What makes you think that will stop us,” Natasha smirked.

Before the doors closed he was able to see Steve grinning. The sight would stay with him the rest of the day.

 

After a few weeks of Steve living in the Tower, Tony started to relax and think that maybe everything would be alright. True to his word Steve gave Tony a wide birth and was nothing but respectful and professional. It was actually kind of annoying. Tony didn't know someone could be so considerate 100% of the time. But it was working for the most part.

Somethings couldn't be avoided, like Tony always knew when Steve was nearby even if he couldn't see or hear him. The soul-bond linked them in a way that they could sense each other's feelings if they were strong enough. As time went by the link strengthened and he could tell exactly what Steve's mood was at any given time and was becoming concerned by how often Steve felt all down and melancholy. And of course there was the fact that every time he was around Steve he had to fight the urge to reach out and touch him. He knew Steve was having the same problem because he'd caught him reaching for Tony a couple of times, only to stop himself and look apologetic.

The worst part was the dreams, mostly because they were starting to get more, um, interesting.

 

_Antonio watches as his men pull the man out of the sea. They had sunken the man's ship a few hours ago, taking all of the cargo and killing anyone left on board. This man must have fallen overboard before the ship had been boarded, a pretty easy feet considering Antonio had blown several holes in the side of the ship._

_His men throw the sodden mess down in front of him. The man is panting and weak but is still trying to get himself upright. Antonio takes in the captain's uniform of the Royal British Navy and he smiles. Perhaps he would get a handsome sum for him. And speaking of handsome, the wet clothes clinging to the man's back show strong muscles. His blonde hair iss long, hanging down loose and covering his face as his head hangs low. Antonio desperately wants to see if the man's face matches the body. He grabs the man by the hair and yanks his head up._

_The bond hits him the moment he looks into blue eyes. And by the shock and anger in the Captain's face, he has felt it too._

_"No," the Captain rasps. "NO! I refuse!"_

_Antonio laughs, "I'm not sure that's how it works, mate." He releases the man's hair and steps back. He spreads his arms wide and addresses his crew. "Good news, I have finally found my soul-bond."_

_His crew looks a bit stunned for a few seconds, they aren't the brightest bunch, then they break out into cheering and laughter. Antonio turns to his First Mate, "Edward, take the good Captain to my quarters, we need to get, acquainted." Edward gives him a very disapproving_   _look, but still signals two men to haul the Captain up. The Captain struggles but he is far too weak from his time spent in the water._

_Antonio has no intention of forcing the man, no that would be too fleeting a victory. Instead he is going to make the man want him, he is going to break him until he gives himself to Antonio._

_Time passes._

_Antonio is sitting at a table in the common room of a very nice inn. He has chosen the inn very carefully, wanting to make sure he had found the very best one in port. He then reserved the nicest room. After a very thorough bath he had dress in new clothes that he had purchased, clothes fit for a nobleman. The Captain, Antonio loves to call him that still, even though Rogers had made Admiral a year ago, always complains about what a mess he is after being at sea for so long. Antonio had decided to surprise him this time. And Rogers is very surprised when he sees him, surprised and pleased, if the widening of his pupils is any indication._

_The Captain sits opposite him at the table. "Did you rob another merchant vessel?" he asks, tone disapproving._

_Antonio laughs, "Well yes, but these I actually purchased from a very nice gentleman. I even paid him extra to rush the tailoring."_

_Rogers is trying to look displeased but he is shifting around in his seat in a very telling way. "I have new orders for you."_

_"Is that the only reason you wanted to see me?"_

_Rogers ignores him. "The French have been sending ships to the Americas. The ships contain weapons and supplies to aid the rebels. Find the ships and sink them. Take whatever you like, just don't let them reach the Colonies."_

_Antonio sips his larger, "I've heard of these ships, I know the route they are taking. It will be easy to intercept them." He looked Rogers up and down. "Anything else?"_

_"No."_

_"Are you hungry?" He asks with a smile. "We could share a meal."_

_Rogers looks like he wants to punch him. "I don't share meals with pirates."_

_"No, you just hire them to do your dirty work. Well if we are not going to eat I shall retire to my room. It is the best they have, top of the stairs and to the left. Has a wonderful view of the ocean." Antonio stands up. "Good evening Captain."_

_Rogers scowls, "It's Admiral."_

_Antonio leans in close, he can smell Rogers and it is intoxicating. "To me you will always be the captain I fished out of the sea." He pulled back, pleased to see how much he had unnerved Rogers._

_He instructs the inn's matron to send supper up, before leaving the common area and going to his room. He has no doubt Rogers will follow. It had taken six weeks of holding the Captain prisoner on his ship before Rogers had given in. Antonio has a feeling that if it hadn't been for the dreams of their past lives together, the good Captain would have held out for a lot longer. Rogers had stayed on his ship for another four months after that, this time willingly. Then Antonio had dropped him off at an English port. He hadn't even warned him he was going to do it, they had gone ashore and spent the night at an inn. Before dawn Antonio had slipped back to his ship and sailed away._

_To say Rogers had been mad was stating things mildly. The Captain had re-joined the navy and spent the next two years playing a cat and mouse with Antonio. It had been great fun._

_When Rogers finally caught up with him he'd dragged Antonio into his ship's cabin and wouldn't let him out for three days. That had been even more fun._

_Then Rogers had told him about a ship that they needed the cargo off of but they couldn't do it themselves without starting a war. The next time Antonio had met up with Rogers he had presented him with the sword of the sunken ship's captain. Rogers still wore the sword._

_Antonio waits until it is dark before opening the window of his room, moments later Rogers comes through it. Antonio has a smirk and a teasing comment ready, but is interrupted by Rogers grabbing him and shoving him onto the bed._

_His thoughts soon dissolve, pleasure spiking through him as his body moves on its own and meets the blonde’s. Rogers coveres his mouth with his own as Antonio wrestles with the buckles of his Captain's uniform._

_Flesh meets flesh drawing moans from each of them and sending shock waves of desire through Antonio. Through the bond, they can feel each others emotions. Sheer, unrivaled joy singing through their blood and bones._

_Hands greedily searching and giving pleasure. He arches against his love, offering, challenging, and cries out when Rogers moves against him. Strong and willful, he rolls on top of his Captain and explores until Steve is delirious with pleasure_

_They match each other so perfectly. Whatever he needs is what Rogers needs. Whatever Rogers wants, Antonio will happily give before he can even ask. They are making love with all that they are. Body, heart, mind and soul. Their hands meet, fingers gripping tight. Rogers pulls Antonio down, while at the same time thrusting up, until it seems that the two of them are melting against each other, and Antonio doesn’t know where he ends and where Rogers begins._

 

The dream was so full of heat and so much love that at the last moment Tony felt ecstasy spill into white hot completion. He woke up, blinking a few times before he realized it was just a really vivid dream, the content feeling drains out of him. He was shocked by the intensity of the sorrow and loneliness he feels. The feeling was more than disappointment— like a piece of him was missing, filling Tony like an ache.

Then he realized that he was in the bed he shared with the woman he loved. Pepper was lying right beside him and could have heard him. He glanced fearfully over at her, but she just mumbled something incoherent as she rolled over in her sleep next to him. Feeling sick with guilt, really Pepper didn’t deserve this, Tony soundlessly got to his feet and moved to the bathroom, cursing, before taking a shower.

This, this had got to stop. It felt like he was being unfaithful to Pepper, making love with her, yet dreaming of another man. Not just another man, one man, a nasty voice in his head said.

Was he really supposed to believe that the dreams were actual memories of past lives? Lives he lived with Steve? He had never believed in all that reincarnation bullshit, about a special type of soulmate, twinflame. Lovers who had spent many lifetimes together instead of just one. He suddenly felt hopeless.

Then he realized the feeling wasn't coming from him.

Shit! It was coming from Rogers. Had Rogers just had the same dream? Tony had heard of that happening, synchronized dreaming between twinflames. Oh shit. Just the thought of it made him feel ill, that Rogers could have just had the same, incredibly hot, dream, just from a different point of view. Which made him wonder what Steve's point of view had been. Had he been scared on the ship, thinking he was going to be raped? Did he miss Antonio as much as Antonio missed him every time they had to go off to sea and be apart?

No, stop! He was not going there. He had enough trouble fighting off Steve's emotions without actively inviting them in. He had lost his father's love because of soul-bonding and all the crap it brought with it. He had become the object of hatred and disdain because of it, and now that stupid bond was trying to come between him and Pepper. NO fucking way!

Looking at himself in the mirror, eyes fierce, he said out loud, “I will not, I repeat, will not make the same mistakes my parent did. I will not waste my life over some national icon, and I will not let a stupid bond rule my life! I am strong, much stronger than this!”

Pepper might not be his soulmate but he loved her deeply, she was the axis on which everything else in his world turned on, and he would not let this ruin what they had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Rogers tells Antonio about the French sending aid to the rebels in the colonies, it is referring to the American Revolutionary War. The French did indeed send ships with weapons, food, and medical supplies to help the colonists in their fight for independence from Britain. Pirates were often hired by governments to take out rival government ships.  
> Look at that, you're learning about history along with being entertained.  
> Chapter title is from Shake it out by Florence and the Machine  
> Thanks for all the kudos, they make me so happy. :)


	5. Everything that kills me, makes me feel alive

He should feel awful for hiding that he was bonded to Captain America from Pepper, but he really didn’t. No, really. Everyone was so convinced that meeting your soulmate was the best thing that could ever happen to you, that he couldn’t risk Pepper ever knowing about it. She would probably feel obligated to leave and give Tony space to figure things out.

Tony didn't need space to figure things out, he knew what he wanted. No one was better for Tony than Pepper. She was the best, always had been, and always would be.

 

Tony decided the team needed new suits. Especially Steve. What was Coulson smoking when he designed that thing?

Romanoff got another catsuit, but this one had more power behind it so she could up the shock on her Widow's Bite. Tony also designed a shock baton. He came up with a name for it, but she threatened to use it on him if he ever repeated it.

Barton got better body armor that moved just like fabric. Tony had found a guy, in Hell's Kitchen of all places, who made it.

After a lot of failed attempts, Tony figured out how to make super stretchy pants for Bruce. They looked like baggy jogging pants when Bruce was normal sized. When he became the Hulk though, they stretched to fit the Big Guy. Then shrank back down to Bruce size without losing shape or integrity.

Steve's new uniform was a deep blue with a star in the center. He had gotten rid of all traces of red and white stripes. Tony had tried to get rid of the star too, but he'd been outnumbered by everyone.

"How would anyone recognize him?" Bruce had asked after seeing Tony's initial design.

"I'm pretty sure the shield will give it away."

As for the shield itself, Tony had developed an electromagnet that only stuck to vibranium. It was a huge feat of engineering, something he was sure to make sure Steve understood.

"It's based off Arc reactor technology, I calibrated it to hone in on the exact frequency the vibranium in your shield resonates at."

Steve had listened politely even though he probably was only getting about a quarter of what Tony was talking about. After Tony had finished he had insisted they try it out so they'd gone down to the gym for some training. Tony watched as Steve threw the shield over and over again at different angles and speeds, each time the shield came back easily when Steve activated the magnet. Tony was supposed to be taking readings but he knew JARVIS was recording everything, and there was something terribly beautiful about watching Steve in action. Tony never really got to watch Steve in a fight, he was too busy watching everything else. But seeing Steve now, it kinda made Tony want to go out and find a bad guy just so he could watch Steve take them down.

He could have watched Steve all day and probably would have if JARVIS hadn't interrupted.

_"Sir, Miss Potts is home."_

Tony jumped up from where he had been sitting. "Why is she home early?"

_"It's 6:30 in the evening."_

"What?! When did that happen?" He pulled out his phone, as if JARVIS would be wrong, and sure enough it was two hours later than when they had entered the gym. Tony looked up at Steve, who was looking slightly shagrin.

"I guess we lost track of time." Steve said as he called the shield back.

"Yeah," Tony just kept standing there.

_"Sir, Miss Potts would like to know what you would like for dinner."_

"Right, um, just tell her to order whatever she's in the mood for." He glanced back at Steve once before turning to go. "Tell her I'll be right up."

"Tony." He turned back when Steve called his name. "Thanks for this," Steve indicated the shield stuck fast to his arm. "It's really great."

"Sure, no problem." Tony fled before he could let the comment about Steve doing something to show his gratitude, slip out of his mouth. Safely inside the elevator he called up the security feed from the gym onto his phone. Steve hadn't moved, he was still standing in the middle of the gym, shoulders slumped and head hanging low.

 

The Avengers only got called out for the big stuff. Someone robs a bank? Call Spiderman. Super powered villain attacks the Baxter Building when the Fantastic Four are out of town? Time for the big guns.

The Four weren't out of town so much as out of the galaxy. It had been a last minute trip so they hadn't had time to let Doom know about the schedule change. Doom, being the considerate guy he was, was there for his monthly attack and seemed to be a little upset that Reed had stood him up. Completely understandable.

 _"Maybe we should just ask him to reschedule,"_ Barton yelled across the comms as he blew up another Doombot with a well placed arrow.

 _"Great idea Hawkeye,"_ Natasha sassed back. _"Tell us how it goes."_

 _"Any luck locating the real Doom yet Iron Man?"_ Steve asked. Steve had the uncanny ability to ignore the background chatter while still actually paying attention to it.

"Ah, not yet. How's that going there JARVIS?"

_"Several of the Doombots seem to be able to give off life signs, it is creating many false positives."_

"Well keep at it. We've got time, Doom's just destroying Reed's place, no big deal."

 _"There are civilians in the building,"_ Steve said in his most 'I'm disappointed with your lack of taking this situation seriously' voice.

"Yeah, I know Cap, I just finished rescuing a group of them from some frisky bots."

 _"Play nice you two,"_ Natasha admonished.

"I always play nice." Tony swooped around the corner of the building to hoover next to the Hulk's right shoulder. "Back me up here Big Guy."

Hulk tossed aside a very mangled Doombot. "You talk too much," he rumbled. But he gave Tony a smirk that meant he was really on Tony's side because Tony was his favorite.

No really, that was what it meant.

_"Sir, I believe I have located Doctor Doom."_

"Way to go Jarv. Guys I got a bead on Doom, he's at the southwest corner of the building. Trying to stay back from the fighting."

_"Copy that Iron Man. Team, head towards the Southeast corner."_

Tony flew up to get a good view and grab Hawkeye, he needed to make that guy some kind of flying thing to get him up and down from the tall buildings he so loved. He checked out the area Doom was and immediately spotted a problem. "Ah guys, Doom's got a ship and it looks like he's getting ready to make a break for it. I'm gonna head him off."

_"Negative Iron Man, do not engage. Wait for backup."_

"Relax Cap, I am the backup." He aimed for Doom, ignoring Steve yelling at him over the comms. He pulled up short right in front of Doom, who was standing on the ramp that lead up to the ship that had been invisible up until a few minutes ago. He aimed the repulsors on his gauntlets at him. "Give up Tin Man, you're way out classed here."

The dictator regarded him. "Doom is never outclassed, not even by the so called Avengers."

"Don't you ever get tired of referring to yourself in the third person?"

"Do you ever tire of your own hubris?"

"Point. Either way I think the nice people at Shield have a special cell just for you. So hows about you come along quietly."

"I think not Stark."

His armor's proximity alarm went of exactly one second before a Doombot slammed into him from the side and carried him down to the ground. "Shit!"

 _"Tony!"_ Steve's voice screamed at him. _"Iron Man, report, are you okay?"_

"I'm, agh, fine, just another frisky bot." The Doombot was trying to pry his faceplate off, but Tony's armor was made of stronger stuff that this cheap imitation. He pulled his right arm free from where it was trapped under his body, aimed it at the bots face, and blew it off. He easily pushed the rest of the bot off himself and sat up, already knowing what he was going to see. Sure enough Doom was gone. To make matters worse he could also see Hulk running over to him with Steve clinging to his back.

Hulk skidded to a stop and Steve jumped down to stalk over to Tony. "What did you think you were doing? I told you to stay back so we could go in as a team."

Tony flipped his faceplate up so Steve could see just how much of a flying fuck Tony gave. "I think I was trying to stop Doom from getting away."

"Well he got away and you almost got crushed by a Doombot."

"I could have been crushed by a Doombot at anytime during the fight, why is it such a big deal now?"

"Because you disobeyed orders!"

Tony slammed the faceplate back down, "Sorry, I'm not one of your little soldiers, you don't give me orders." He turned off his comms so he wouldn't have to hear what Steve said next, then he took off towards the Tower.

He took the long way by doing a few laps around Manhattan, so he could cool off. He was pissed at Steve, thinking he could order Tony around. Probably thought it was his right because they were bonded. Asshole.

He flew until his anger simmered down a bit, then he turned towards the Tower. He had installed the robotic arms that got him out of the armor down on the same level where the other Avengers suited up. He ignored it now and went straight for the one on the balcony of the penthouse. As soon as he was free he went over to the bar, poured himself a large scotch and downed it. After two more drinks he decided that he was more uncomfortable and sweaty than upset anymore. He needed to get out of the thin suit that he wore under the armor and take a shower.

He was halfway to the bathroom when the elevator doors opened and a very pissed off Captain America emerged and stormed into the penthouse, heading for where Tony was frozen in place.

The rest of the team must have just gotten back because Steve was still dressed in his uniform, he hadn't even taken off his gloves, just pulled back the cowl and ditched the shield. Something black was smudged on his face and his hair was a sweaty mess. He looked gorgeous.

And pissed.

"We are not done with this conversation." Steve barked out.

"Oh yes we are," Tony shot back as Steve got right up in his face. "I left, so the conversation ended."

"No," Steve growled. "You don't just get to fly off because you don't want to deal with something. You left Clint on the roof!"

Oops, he had, hadn't he. "Oh I'm sorry, did he have to take the elevator down instead. I'll apologize for inconveniencing him."

Steve's face turned even redder than before. "It wasn't an inconvenience, it was inconsiderate. We are a team Tony, we have to act like one, and that includes following orders."

"I told you I don't-"

"You don't take orders, yeah you did tell me. But you designated me leader of this team and that means I'm going to give orders. And if you choose not to follow them it throws the whole team dynamic off and puts everyone in danger. You need to stop acting like you're still a solo player and start taking responsibility for your actions."

The anger that had been burning inside Tony earlier flared back up. "My actions? What about your actions? Ordering me around like I'm your property, just because we're bonded. Then getting pissed because I don't fall in line like a good soldier."

"You know this has nothing to do with that!"

"Really? Cause I'm not so sure. I bet the whole speech about not wanting to force me was just an act so I would let my guard down." Tony was shoved up against the nearest wall before he could even blink. Steve had a tight grip on the thin material of the undersuit and Tony briefly worried he might actually rip it.

"Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?" Steve was almost nose to nose with him. "If I was the jerk you were painting me as, then I wouldn't be putting up with this crap from you. It kills me to be so close to you and know I can never have you. I see you every day but I can't even touch you!"

Tony smirked, "You're not having that problem now I notice."

Steve's eyes went wide at the jab. Tony figured it would get him to back off. He didn't think Steve would instead shove him harder against the wall and start kissing him.

Steve crushed his mouth against Tony's, kissing him with fierce desperation. Tony was so caught off guard that it took him a few seconds to realize he was kissing Steve back. He met the kiss with a ferocity of his own. Steve's mouth was hot and tasted faintly like the cinnamon candies the guy loved.

Tony could feel every inch of Steve's wide chest, pushed up against him, through the thin material of the undersuit. When Steve thrust his hips against Tony's he couldn't suppress a moan at the feel of Steve rubbing against his quickly growing erection. The sound encouraged Steve and he let go of the undersuit and moved his hands up to cross behind Tony's shoulders, pulling them even closer. Tony let his hands roam Steve's back and down to his hips, he gripped Steve, encouraging him to push against him again. Steve happily obliged and Tony moaned into his mouth again.

They were both panting as they continued to kiss. Steve started to move his hips in a slow, steady rhythm that was driving Tony wild. He was completely hard right now, and the undersuit allowed him to feel every detail of Steve's suit rubbing against his length. He knew he was making little needy noises and he just didn't care. Steve felt amazing. Being so close to him, feeling him, tasting him, his scent all over him. It was better than Tony had imagined.

He sucked on Steve's bottom lip and was rewarded by the dirtiest groan Tony had ever heard. So he did it again and got another groan. It was amazing.

Steve speed up his thrusts and pushed in harder. That was when Tony suddenly realized that this couldn't possibly be feeling as good for Steve as it was for Tony. Steve was still in his uniform and Tony knew for a fact that there was a lot of protection down there. He also knew exactly how to get Steve _out_ of the uniform. He reached down and began to fumble for the clasps and zippers, all the while trying to stay as close to Steve as possible while the man ravaged his mouth.

He got the belt off and let it fall to the floor.

Tony's nimble fingers found the zipper that was cleverly hidden and he began to pull it down.

Steve gasped and practically flew backwards, away from Tony. Stunned by the sudden loss of contact all he could do was stare at Steve.

"I'm sorry." Steve was backing away, a look of horror and, maybe, disgust on his face. "I'm so sorry Tony. I'm-" Steve turned and ran. He didn't take the elevator, just went to the door for the emergency stairs, flung it open, and disappeared through it.

Tony watched him go, still unmoving. His brain was trying to catch up with what had just happened. When he got there he was filled with guilt. He had betrayed Pepper. And even worse, Steve had been disgusted with Tony and had run from him in an attempt to put as much distance between them. Even now he could feel the emotion coming from Steve.

Tony sank slowly down to the floor. He was shaking for some reason. Maybe the room was cold, he should ask JARVIS to turn up the heat. Or he should go take a shower and change.

He just sat on the floor, head in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from the song Counting Stars by One Republic  
> Thanks for the kudos :D


	6. Dreaming about the things that we could be

_The gladiator charges his opponent, intent on dealing the death blow. He iss a favorite of the crowd, large and muscular, skin deeply tanned by the sun, his brown hair braided down his back. He has been on a winning streak for over a months time. Almost an eternity for a gladiator. His opponent is a newcomer. The tale is that the slavers found him washed ashore after a bad storm. It is believed he is one of the Norse who live in the colder regions of the north, an accurate assumption due to his light hair and blue eyes._

_Antonius had first seen the newcomer at the slave auctions, the soul-bonding had been immediate. He had tried to buy the slave but was horrified to learn that the man had already been sold to Gallus. Antonius knew that Gallus would most likely send the poor slave to the arena to fight._

_Which is why he is now seated in his private box, watching his soul-bond about to die._

_The champion raises his sword and waits for the audience to make their decision. Antonius has no doubt what it will be and so he is not surprised when the majority point their thumbs down indicating they want the champion to kill the man._

_Antonius wants to close his eyes and not watch, but he will be strong for his soul-bound. He cannot save the man from this fate but he can at the very least be here for his final moments._

_The sword swings down._

_The newcomer rolls away, grabs a fallen shield, and slams the edge of the shield into the champions throat. The crowd gasps as the champion falls backwards, a spray of blood soaking into the sand of the arena._

_The crowd roars it's approval at the sudden and exciting turn of events. And Antonius closes his eyes and says a prayer of thanks to the goddess Victoria._

_The newcomer soon becomes the new champion of the arena. The crowds love to watch the man win even against impossible odds. But Antonius knows it is only a matter of time until the crowds grow bored and demand new entertainment. Antonius has until that time to find a way to free the man._

_Using his position as a high ranking member of the Roman Senate, he uses his various contacts to find out if Gallus will be willing to sell his slave. The word he receives back is that many have offered large sums for the man but Gallus is refusing to sell. He is making a lot of money every time the man wins. In addition, Antonius learns, Gallus has been whoring the man out to anyone willing to pay for a night with the Champion of the Colosseum._ _Antonius is sick with rage to learn that his soul-bound is being treated thus. He redoubles his efforts to free him._

_Finally, a man who owes Antonius a debt, is able to give an interesting piece of information about Gallus. Information Antonius is able to use to persuade Gallus to sell his slave._

_Gallus is horribly displeased. It makes the victory all the sweeter._

_Gallus delivered the slave late in the evening. Antonius has his own servants bring the man to his rooms. He commanded them to douse all the lamps, thus shrouding the room in darkness. Only then does Antonius enter the room, being sure to stay in the shadows._

_The man is in the center of the room, kneeling on the floor, hands behind his back, head down. Moonlight shines through the window, highlighting the strong curves of muscle. He is dressed only in a simple lion cloth, Antonius is sure Gallus has done this on purpose, thinking he knows why Antonius has been so eager to buy this particular slave._

_Antonius approaches the man, trying to make noise to let the man know he is there. The man does not move and Antonius can see by the stiffness of the man's back that he may be in a submissive position but he is strong willed. It makes Antonius glad to know the man has not been broken._

_He stops a few paces away from the kneeling man, then tossed the papers he has been holding onto the floor in front of the man._   _"These are papers showing I have freed you and made you a citizen of Rome. I also have clothing for you and money to help you on your way. If you would like I can even provide transportation on a ship heading north." Antonius watches the man's reaction. At first he just stares at the papers, confused. But as Antonius speaks, his confusion turns to shock and disbelief. Antonius_ _waits a few moments to allow the man time to process things before speaking again. "Do you understand what I have told you?" No response. "Can you understand any of what I am saying?"_

_The man swallows, then speaks with a heavy accent. "Yes, I understand the things you say."_

_"Do you understand that I have freed you? You are no longer owned by any man."_

_The man looks up at him, Antonius makes sure the shadows are still hiding him from view. "Why? Why do you do this? What do you want?" The last part is said with the suspicion of someone who has been offered hope before._

_"I want nothing but for you to be free and well," he says, trying to convey how earnest he is. "Beyond that I demand nothing from you and you owe me nothing in return. I give this freely."_

_The man looks at the papers before carefully picking them up. Antonius watches as the man's eyes scan them, he seemes to actually be reading them. Antonius wonders how a slave has become so learned. Finally the man stands and faces Antonius. "I wish to go home," he says._

_Antonius nods, "I know of a ship heading north. It will not take you all the way home but it is a start."_

_The man takes a step closer. "I wish for these clothes and the money you promised."_

_"I said I would give them to you and I shall."_

_The man takes another step closer. "And I wish to see your face."_

_"No."_

_The man frowns. "Why not?"_

_"My reasons are my own."_

_The man takes a step closer again. "I wish it."_

_Antonius wants to turn and leave, but his willpower is slowly fading from being so close to his beloved. "If you see my face you would feel obligated to remain here. And I wish for you to be able to return to your home."_

_The man takes one final step and is just an arms length away from Antonius, who is still hidden by the shadows of the darkened room. "I make my own decisions and seeing your face will not change that." He takes Antonius by the hand and gently pulls him into the moonlight._

_Antonius expects to see surprise, perhaps fear and hatred, as the soul-bond sweeps over the man. Instead the man's face remains the same. Had nothing happened? Was Antonius mistaken, had he not really experienced a soul-bond with the man._

_Then the man smiles and it is the most beautiful thing Antonius has ever seen. "I wished to see your face because I have seen it before. The day I won my first victory in the arena, everyone was cheering, yelling, but not you. I s_ _aw you, the one person who was taking no delight in the mockery of sport. And I felt the Heilagr-binda."_

_"The Hella-"_

_The man pauses, thinking. "You call it something else, souls-banded?"_

_"The soul-bond." Antonio whispers, hardly able to believe what is happening._

_The man nods, "Yes, a bond. I had thought my being brought to this land, this city was a curse from the gods. That perhaps Loki was playing a cruel trick on me. But when I saw you I knew it was not a curse." He pulls Antonius closer to him. He can feel the man's breath on his face as he speaks. "I have been blessed by the All-Father Himself, blessed to find you."_

_They stand in the moonlight, mouths almost close enough to touch, then Antonius leans in to take the man's mouth. It is soft and warm and the man kisses him back gently and with something akin to reverence. Antonius breaks the kiss. "Tell me your name."_

_"I am Svein Valgardson."_

_"I am known as Antonius Structus."_

_Svein smiles at him again. "I have always loved you Antonius, even before I knew you." He leans in and they kissed once more. This time it lasts much longer as hands clasps and they enjoy the feel of one another. Then he leds Svein to his bed, where he pulls off his own robes before removing Svein's loincloth. He pulls his love down and they explore each others bodies, finding those perfect spots that make the other gasp in pleasure. Antonius pushes inside Svein and he is lost. His whole life has been drab up until this point, now it is an explosion of colors and he knows he is complete._  

 

“Tony! Tony, wake up!”

He tried to ignore whoever is trying to shake him awake. He was happy staying asleep. Sleep was nice, he had wonderful dreams where he was happy and loved. Being awake was bad, something was waiting for him when he wakes up and he didn't want to face it.

“TONY!”

“Fuck!” He jerked upright. Pepper was kneeling next to him looking worried. “What? What's wrong?”

“You tell me. Why are you sleeping on the floor? Are you okay?”

He looked around, sure enough he's on the floor right where he'd collapsed after- It all came back to him.

“Tony, what is wrong?”

Pepper. She looked so worried. Worried about him.

She deserved so much better.

“I'm sorry.”

Pepper frowned, “For what?”

“I should have told you, I should have told you as soon as it happened. I just didn't want it, I didn't want to believe it was true. But it is, it's all true and I can't stop it.”

Pepper put her hand over his mouth to stop his babbling. “Tony, calm down and just tell me what's wrong.”

As soon as she removed her hand he blurted out, “I bonded with someone.” He wanted to look away but he can't, he owed her his full attention. Oh but it was hard to watch.

At first Pepper just looked confused, “A soul-bond?”

“Yes.”

She looked away as she tried to come to terms with the news. “When?”

Tony swallowed, “Right before the Battle of New York. A couple hours before, actually.”

Pepper snapped back to look at him. “Before? Tony, that was months ago. I..wha..how? How did it happen? I mean I know how it happens.” She was falling apart, he could see it.

“It's Steve.”

Her mouth fell open and she just stared at him. “Steve?” He could almost hear her thought process. First she immediately thought of the Steve they knew the best, but she dismissed it as impossible. Then she tried to think of another Steve they are on first name basis with. When she couldn't come up with any she went back to the first thought, but still couldn't believe it. “Steve Rogers?”

Tony just nodded.

“Captain America?”

“Yes.”

“Holy Shit.”

“I know.”

“Oh my- does he know?”

Tony scrubbed a hand across his face. “Yeah, we were, um, face to face when it happened. Was kinda hard to miss, even with crazy Norse gods in tow.”

Pepper was quiet for a minute. Tony wanted to reach out to her, comfort her. But he was the one who had caused her to be in pain.

When she spoke again she proved that she was perfect. “How are you handling it? I know this has to be hard, what with the situation with your parents.”

He looked at her in shock. “How am I doing?! You just found out that the guy your in a relationship with is soulmates with Captain freakin' America, and you want to know how I'm doing?”

Pepper gave a sad smile, “Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed that you kept this from me. But being soul bonded isn't your fault, and it's not Steve's fault either. And you are the one person in the whole world who would be upset that they have a soulmate. So yes Tony, I want to know how you are doing. How is Steve reacting to you being opposed to soul-bonds?”

“He, ah, he told me he wasn't going to force me into something I didn't want.”

Pepper smiled, “Sounds like Steve.” She looked out of the window at the view. Tony realized it was the exact window Loki had thrown him out of. 

He kinda felt like he was plunging to certain doom all over again. “There's more.”

Pepper looked resigned as she waited for him to speak.

“I’ve,” he had to tell her. “I've had..” She deserved to know everything. “I've been having the dreams.”

Pepper’s face crumpled in misery. “Oh.”

There were cases of soul-bonded couples splitting up. And everyone knew of at least one unhappy couple. But you never heard that about Twinflames. They were the stuff fairy tales were based off of, Cinderella and Snow White finding their Prince Charming. Literally living happily ever after.

Pepper stood up.

“Where are you going?” Tony asked, not caring how desperate he sounded.

Pepper won't look at him. “I'm going to go stay at the Malibu house for awhile.”

“Please don't. Don't go. I don't want Steve, I want you.”

“That's not how it works Tony,” she said, voice thick with grief.

Tony scrambled to his feet. “Why the hell not? Why does this have to ruin what we have? I’m ignoring the bond. I'm focused on you.”

Pepper just shoke her head, “If that was really true then you never would have kept this from me.”

He didn't have a response for that, he just watched her walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, but really painful.  
> Victoria is the Roman goddess for victory.  
> Antonius is actually the Roman name for Anthony. No really, look it up. Svein was the closest Norse name I could find to Steven.  
> Chapter title is from the song Counting Stars by One Republic


	7. Now that I know what I'm without

It took Bruce forty eight hours to override JARVIS' protocols and break into the penthouse.

Well, it probably took him five minutes to actually hack in, he just didn't do it until it had been forty eight hours since Tony had locked himself in and refused all calls.

Pepper had packed a few things and left right after their conversation. That was when Tony started drinking and he didn't stop until the pain was numbed to bearable levels. JARVIS kept bugging him at different intervals, demanding Tony eat something or drink some water. JARVIS could be a bastard when he wanted to be, so Tony had thrown back a few protein shakes, then gone back to the alcohol. Maybe Bruce hadn't hacked JARVIS, maybe JARVIS had just let him in. Either way, Bruce was now in Tony's living room, taking in the empty bottles, shattered glass from when Tony had thrown glasses in rage, and the general mess that Tony was.

"Bruce!" Tony slurred. "What's up? Wanna go do some science? Let's do some science." He tried to get up from where he was sprawled on the couch but the room was spinning too much.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Bruce said as he went over to the kitchen, got a glass of water, and brought it back. "Drink this."

"I'm not thirsty."

Bruce leaned in close, "Either you take the water from me or you take it from the Other Guy, your choice."

Even Tony's alcohol muddled brain understood that Bruce was serious. "Geez, you're just as bad as JARVIS." Bruce's skin took on a green tinge. Tony grabbed the glass and drained it. "There, now get out."

Bruce's skin went back to its normal color, he took the glass, refilled it, and handed it back to Tony. "Want to tell me what happened?"

Tony took the glass. "Not really."

"Well let me tell you what I know. I know that Steve was really upset with you after the battle with Doom. When we got back he came up here to confront you. He wasn't gone long when he came back down, by the stairs, not the elevator. He only stopped long enough to change then he left the tower. Couple hours later Pepper comes to find me and ask me to check up on you, make sure you're okay. She tells me you two are taking a break and she's going back to Malibu for a while. Then a few hours after that, Natasha comes to tell me that she and Steve are going to Washington D.C. to do a mission for Shield. Says she'll probably be back but she's pretty sure Steve won't be. She said to tell you she would kick your ass but Steve specifically asked her not too. You may want to avoid Clint for a while, though."

"Steve left?" Tony's voice sounded broken.

Bruce sighed and sat down next to him on the couch. "Yes, can you shed some light on that? And why would Pepper decide she needs a break at the same time?

Tony hadn't cried since Afghanistan, and even then it had just been quietly at night. But now, with the alcohol breaking down his walls, he let the tears flow. "It's my fault. All of it. I should have been honest with Pepper. I shouldn't have tried to deny the bond with Steve. I shouldn't of tried to push him away. I shouldn't have kissed him. I've screwed up everything!"

Bruce's eyes had gone wide and his mouth was hanging open, "Hold on, you and Steve? You..you're Soul-Bonded?"

Tony just dropped his head down to his hands as he sobbed out all his pain and misery.

"A lot of things just made sense."

Bruce stayed next to Tony, letting him cry until he was spent. Then he helped him to his room, got him cleaned up and sent him to bed.

Tony slept for twelve hours. He remembered Bruce waking him up a few times to take a drink of water and even drink a little bit of one of his chlorophyll smoothies. When Tony finally woke up it was the next day and Bruce was asleep on his couch. Tony tried to sneak over to the bar but it turned out Bruce was a really light sleeper.

"Don't even think about it." There was a growl in Bruce's voice that told Tony if he tried to get a drink, it would be the Hulk stopping him. Bruce was even more of a bastard than JARVIS.

Bruce stayed with him up in the penthouse for the next two weeks. Tony offered him the guest bedroom but Bruce kept sleeping on the couch, presumably to keep Tony away from the bar. Which was how Tony got dried out.

 

Natasha came back from D.C. without Steve. She told them that Steve was going to be staying in D.C. to be closer to Shield headquarters and the Strike team they were working with. The look she gave Tony let him know that she knew the real reason Steve was staying away. Steve must have told her about the bond, which meant Barton knew too. Maybe Tony should just make a public announcement at this point. Instead he paid for Steve's stuff to be shipped out to him.

 

The distance between them helped with feeling each other's emotions. Tony only had to feel the loneliness coming from Steve when the other guy was feeling it really strongly. Each time it happened Tony had to stop himself from putting on the armor and going to Steve.

 

He eventually reunited with Pepper out in Malibu when he flew out to see Happy after the guy ended up in the hospital. A terrorist named The Mandarin had been responsible and Tony, in a fit of insanity, had threatened the guy on national TV. So the reunion didn't last long.

The Malibu house was blown to hell and Tony ended up in Tennessee with no one to help him but a ten year old kid. It could have been worse. 

Pepper had been sure that Tony had been blown up along with the house. That lasted for about ten minutes, since her first call was to Steve, who reassured her that Tony was definitely not dead. Tony had been tempted to call Steve too, but instead called Pepper. She reamed him out for that later.

After the whole debacle with the Mandarin, who turned out to be a washed up actor with a substance abuse problem (so embarrassing), Tony figured out how to stabilize the Extremis in Peppers blood and make it so it would just heal her and keep her safe, not turn her into a fire-breathing psycho.

He got back to New York in time to hear that Thor was back on earth.

Bruce and Tony had been the only ones at the Tower, Natasha was in D.C. and Barton was off doing whatever Barton did when he wasn't with the Avengers. JARVIS monitored all frequencies and was programmed to inform Tony if anything he should know about was happening. Eleves attacking England counted as something he should know about.

Not that there was anything they could do. The skies over the battle had been shut down to any air traffic after two fighter planes had disappeared through what had to be portals to the other realms. That would explain where the huge blue dog had come from.

Tony and Bruce watched the news reports of the battle. Bruce had offered to go as the Hulk. He could take the Avenjet, land well outside the battle area, and run in. They scrapped that idea when the news reported people and things disappearing and reappearing in different places around London. The last thing they needed was for the Hulk to go to smash something and be transported to a crowded place. So they just watch it on TV, feeling kind of useless.

"Hey, isn't that Selvig?" Tony pointed to the man on the TV. He had a bunch of poles that looked important. "What's he doing?"

Bruce leaned in, "I don't know, except .. he's been sending me e-mails about a convergence." Bruce looked like he was having an epiphany. "That's what this is, it's the convergence, the nine realms are lining up perfectly and you can travel easily between all nine."

"And Two-Face is trying to use it for his own evil purposes?' Tony wondered aloud.

"Who's Two-Face?"

"The elf guy, half his face has black scarring."

"I see. Oh, there's Dr. Foster."

"There goes Mjolnir again."

 

After the battle was over they went over to help with the clean up. In addition to a bunch of elves ( _dark_ elves he was informed by Dr. Foster), being left behind, there were also some creatures that needed to be rounded up. Thor had left to go talk to his dad without cleaning up after himself, so London was happy to have the help of two Avengers.

Watching the Hulk wrestle the blue dog to the ground was the funniest thing Tony had ever seen. At first it looked like the dog was attacking the Hulk until Tony realized it was playing. It got Hulk pinned down and started licking the Big Guy's face. That was the first time Tony heard the Hulk laugh. After that it was mostly about convincing Hulk to let Dr. Foster call down the Biofrost to send the thing home. Tony had to promise to get Hulk another dog and a kitten before he would let it go. Tony sent a video out to the rest of the team with the highlights and was rewarded with a surge of happiness coming from Steve.

Once all mystical creatures had been dealt with they helped with cleaning up some of the bigger debris. Hulk cleared away an entire smashed building in under an hour. It would have been faster but he'd had to wait for the dump trucks to empty their loads after he filled them.

Iron Man went around and used his lasers to cut through twisted metal and turn it into smaller, manageable pieces. Tony knew that film crews were everywhere and that the Avengers doing heroic things attracted them like flies. But he didn't think about Steve seeing him on TV until he figured out why he kept feeling bouts of longing. One hit him so hard that he'd actually had to land. Hulk was nearby at the time and had looked over.

"Iron Man okay?"

"Yeah Big Guy, just, ah, just need a second."

Hulk cocked his head at him, then shrank down to Bruce. Bruce looked around in confusion for a second before spotting Tony. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Tony waved off his concern, "It's nothing, I'm fine." He tried to keep his voice even, it didn't work so well.

Bruce studied him for another minute. "Maybe you should just call him. I'm sure he's just as miserable."

"Don't you have some slabs of concrete to move, or something?"

Bruce rolled his eyes, then the Hulk was back, picking up said slab and tossing it into a nearby dump truck.

 

Every night after they were done helping, they would check in with Foster to see if Thor was back. Then Tony made Bruce sit down and watch all the news reports of the Hulk helping the people of London.

 

Thor finally came back. Which was good because Tony was getting tired of watching Foster become more and more despondent.

Tony talked everyone into coming back to New York with him and Bruce. Selvig was the only one who stayed behind. He had been offered a position at Cambridge, since it was proven he wasn't totally crazy and he'd helped save the world. Selvig's sanity also seemed to be much improved after finding out Loki was dead.

Tony gave Thor a room at the Tower on the same level as the rest of the Avengers. Darcy and Jane got a room to share, but Jane spent most of her time with Thor. That is, when she was actually in town. She was the hottest thing right now, the scientist who had figured out the Biofrost and had helped save the world. She and Selvig were called on to lecture all over the world. So much so that Tony finally gifted them each a private jet to ferry them around.

Having Thor around brought an energy back to the Tower that Tony hadn't even realized was missing. It helped that Barton came back around the same time. He must have been on vacation, because he looked way too relaxed and chipper for having been on a mission.

It wasn't until Natasha showed up, without Steve, that Thor finally became suspicious.

"Where is the Captain?" Thor asked Tony. They were in the gym and Tony was showing Thor all the stuff that would be sturdy enough for him. "I thought you said all the Avengers were living here."

"Oh, well actually, he's not living here anymore. He was, but now he lives in a different State. Well, D.C. isn't a State, it's a District." Tony tried to look like he wasn't bothered by Steve not being in the Tower.

Thor frowned, "Why would he want to be so far from you?"

"I don't know- wait, what do you mean me? Me, as in me or me as in the whole team."

"I mean you, the man he has the Heilagr-Binda with."

"What?" The word sounded familiar.

Thor looked thoughtful "What do you call it? Jane told me, a Soul-Bond."

Tony stared at Thor, "Who told you about that?!"

Thor looked away, "Loki did."

"What?! How the hell did he know." Tony tried to remember all his interactions with Thor's crazy brother, he was pretty sure he hadn't had any heart-to-hearts with the guy.

"He was there when it happened. He only just recently informed me of it. Loki can- He could sense when two souls connected." Thor glanced at Tony and saw the unhappy look. He chuckled, "You are not the first person to be upset that Loki could divine that secret. Many times over his lifetime he would be nearby when the Heilagr-Binda took two people by surprise. He hated it."

"Huh, I guess that would be kinda awkward for everyone."

Thor laughed again, some of his sorrow bleeding away. "It was, he would try to be discreet about it, often hiding himself with his magic if he thought he had not been noticed. And he kept the knowledge that he could sense it hidden from most."

Tony realized that Loki had known from the beginning but had never divulged the secret or tried to use it against Tony. "He never tried to use it against someone?"

Thor shook his head, "It is sacred to us, the most sacred thing in all the nine realms. It means that two souls wanted to be able to find each other in their mortal life so they made a sacred promise to each other that connected them, to make sure they would know the other as soon as they saw them."

"Do you guys have fancy stories for everything?"

Thor ignored him, "So tell me Stark, what have you done to make Rogers not want to be with you?"

"Why does it have to be something I did? Maybe Steve did something."

Thor wasn't buying it. "Because I have know you both for only a short time but I can already tell it would definitely be you who caused the problem."

"You know what, just for that I'm not going to show you how to use the training simulator."

Thor laughed again.

"So are you and Jane bonded?" Tony asked.

"No, I have never experienced a bond with another soul, much to my parents chagrin."

"Well you're not missing out on much." Tony said, scowling.

"Perhaps not," Thor looked sad again. "Loki was bonded to someone."

"Really?" He couldn't imagine it.

"She was a maiden of delicate beauty, and she was completely devoted to Loki. Even when he was causing mischief she would stand by him, defend him even. And Loki loved her, he wouldn't admit it of course."

"How's she handling his death?" It seemed the polite thing to ask.

If possible, Thor looked even sadder. "She had very frail health, even by human standards. Everyone knew she would die young, the healers could do nothing for her. Neither could Loki. In retrospect I believe her death was what first started Loki on his path to madness."

"Another argument against having a soulmate."

Thor regarded him, "Or perhaps it is an argument as to why we should cherish the precious things we have while they still linger."

Tony didn't feel like being given words of wisdom by the God of Thunder. He almost left, but curiosity made him stay. "So, do you guys have a legend about Twinflames, uh, soulmates who always find each other again each time they are reborn?"

"Of course."

"Of course," Tony smirked.

Thor loved telling stories, "Before the nine realms were created and populated, all the souls lived together but they never touched. To touch was forbidden because the souls would pass on a part of themselves to the other. However some went against this rule. They had formed such a close attachment with each other that the very thought of spending even one life time apart filled them with dread. So they touched, thus linking their souls forever."

"So these guys were the rebels?"

Thor grinned, "I suppose so."

Tony shrugged, "I don't believe in any of that stuff. It's just a chemical and hormone reaction between two people. People just make up fancy stories about it to make it sound cooler than it is."

Thor clapped Tony on his shoulder, almost making Tony's knees buckle. "My friend, I have come to care deeply about you and the others I have met here on Midgard. So I tell you this as a friend. Go to Rogers and make amends, stop denying yourself happiness simply because you are afraid of it." Thor squeezed Tony's shoulder a little harder, making Tony wince. "And if you do not I shall have no choice but to drag you to him and pin you down with Mjolnir until you do." He gave Tony's shoulder a pat, then turned and strolled out of the room, cape flapping dramatically behind him.

Tony made a mental note to never become Thor's enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me sad while writing it. :`(  
> My head canon is that Loki told Thor about the soul-bond while he was impersonating Captain America. He had forgotten about it and only just remembered. After Thor shut him up and he changed back, Loki mentioned it very offhandedly. Mostly because he had always told Thor after he'd felt someone experience a soul-bond.
> 
> Heilagr-binda loosely translated means sacred-bond.  
> I took a few liberties with the retelling of Iron Man 3, just to make it fit better with the story. So Tony still has the arc reactor in his chest.  
> Chapter title is from the song Bring Me to Life by Evanescence


	8. Turn away 'cause I need you more

"Tony? Why is there an enormous dog in my room?"

Tony looked up from his workbench to see Bruce coming in. "It's the Hulk's dog, I guess it's your dog too, he's a Mastiff. His name is Rex, I know, not very original. The kitten’s name is Mittens.”

Bruce looked pained, “There's a kitten too?”

“Of course, I did promise one after all.”

Bruce pulled off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I didn't think you were serious.”

“Bruce, honey, you don't make promises to the Hulk and then not keep them. The guy has a long memory.” Tony patted Bruce on the arm. “Look on the bright side, you don't really have to take care of them. Hulk feeds them, walks Rex, and cleans up after them. Barton is trying to train them both to use the toilet. And if we go on long missions, DUM-E is going to look after them.” The robot whirred happily from his corner in agreement.

"Tony-"

_"Sir, several Shield agents are here. They wish to speak to you."_

"Tell them to come back during visiting hours."

_"It concerns Captain Rogers."_

Tony and Bruce looked at each other for half a second. "You would know if something bad had happened." Bruce reminded him.

Tony nodded. He would know, but as he made his way to the elevator he couldn't help remembering the uneasy feeling he'd been having since last night.

The agents in question were your generic Shield guys in there suit and ties. The lead guy introduced himself as Sitwell and Tony immediately disliked him.

Barton and Thor were already in the main conference room that JARVIS had directed everyone to. Barton was leaning against the far wall, scowling at Sitwell. Thor, probably taking cues from Barton, was standing at his full intimidating height. Somehow making the way his arms were crossed look very stern.

"Let's get this over with Agent," Tony said as he plunked himself down in a chair. "I have important kitten stuff to attend to." This had the desired effect of throwing Sitwell off and Tony smiled in satisfaction.

Sitwell pulled himself back together quickly. "Thank you for meeting with me Mr Stark. I don't know if you're aware, but Director Fury was assassinated two nights ago." Sitwell paused for dramatic effect.

"Really?" Tony quipped. "I didn't think he could die, I was sure he was just a really convincing robot." Tony swivled his chair back and forth to disguise he was sneaking a peek at Barton. The archer's scowl remained in place so Tony surmised he already knew. Thor wasn't twinging either, maybe Barton had told him. Bruce did look surprised so Tony didn't feel left out.

"I assure you Nicholas Fury did indeed die. He was shot multiple times while at Captain Rogers apartment." Sitwell was watching them carefully for any reaction.

Tony swung the chair in a full circle, giving himself a second to reign in his thoughts. Thankfully Bruce spoke up, "Was Captain Rogers hurt?"

"No, but we believe he has important information concerning Fury's death. When questioned he refused to cooperate then fled from Shield headquarters after injuring an entire Strike team." Sitwell looked at them all, "Steve Rogers is currently a fugitive."

"Steven Rogers is an honorable man," Thor rumbled. "If he is attempting to keep secrets it is because he believes that there is something amiss and he cannot trust anyone near to him."

"Perhaps," Sitwell said in a polite tone, the condescending attitude just a slight undercurrent. "That's why we're coming to you, to see if maybe he's tried to contact you, since he trusts you all so much. Or at least he did, some people have speculated as to why Rogers left the Avengers and moved to D.C. Maybe he just didn't have as much honor as everyone thought." The guy had balls, Tony would give him that, not everyone would be willing to subtly insult Thor. Maybe he thought Thor wouldn't catch it, that he was just dumb muscle. Tony knew better, Thor was a Prince and his brother had been the Prince of Lies, it was hard to sneak anything past the guy.

"Have care how you speak," it was Thor's 'I'm gonna go Asgardian on your ass if you don't back down', voice. "Steve Rogers is our friend and compatriot, you shall not speak ill of him in my presence."

Sitwell had enough sense of self preservation to back down. "I just need to know if he's contacted you."

Tony stood up and went over to the agent. "Sorry, but even if Steve had contacted us, we wouldn't tell you. Cause see, he's an Avenger, and we look out for our own. So why don't you get the hell out of my Tower before I sic Hulk's dog on you."

Sitwell straightened his tie, "Very well, if you're not going to cooperate I obviously can't make you. We will go, but I need Agent Barton to come with us." He looked past Tony to Barton.

Clint didn't move. "I'm good here, thanks."

Sitwell scowled, "That's an order."

Clint didn't look impressed. "Fury assigned me to the Avengers, I'm just following that order."

"Fury is dead, Pierce is acting Director and he has given new orders. You are to come with me back to the Triskelion."

Barton smirked. "Romanoff's with Rogers, isn't she?"

Sitwell frowned, "Come with me now Barton, or we will have to make you."

Mjolnir came flying into the room, through the door thankfully, and slapped into Thor's hand. "You may try."

Bruce moved himself so he was just behind Tony and in the direct path the agents would have to take to get to either Thor or Barton. Tony smirked at Sitwell, "You're welcomed to try and drag Barton out of here. You just have to get past Bruce and Thor first. Hundred bucks says you don't even make it to Thor."

Sitwell was smart and he knew he was beaten. "Fine." He signaled the other agents and they left the conference room quickly.

"J, track them, let me know where they go."

_"Yes sir."_

"Think they'll try to get to Clint?" Bruce asked.

"I dunno, they'd have to be suicidal to break in here knowing you and Thor are here."

"That's probably why Sitwell came," Barton said. He pushed away from the wall and came over to them. "Wanted to see exactly who was here, try and figure out if we'd been in contact with Steve, then see if he could intimidate me into coming with him."

"Why would he ever think that would work?" Bruce asked.

Barton shrugged, "He wasn't planning on it working. Like I said, this was recon. Sitwell's a complete ass, but he's smart."

"Did you know about Fury's death?" Tony asked.

"I knew something very bad had happened." Barton answered. "Nat sent me a coded text to let me know something was going on and I should stay close to you guys until she told me otherwise. That was yesterday, haven't heard from her since. Which means she's had to go to ground. When JARVIS told me Sitwell was here I told Thor what I knew, couldn't warn you guys before he got here."

"We should go to Rogers and Natasha," Thor said, hefting his hammer. "It sounds as though they need our assistance."

"Go where?" Barton gestured towards the window, "We have no idea where they are. They're probably not even in D.C. anymore."

Bruce stepped between the two, "Alright, let's keep it together. Clint's right, we can't do anything until we know more."

"I'll have JARVIS monitor Shield frequencies, see if we can learn anything. Barton, you got any contacts you trust?"

"A few," Barton looked thoughtful. "I'll have to leave the Tower to get in contact with them. That's probably what Sitwell is waiting for though."

Thor clapped Barton on the shoulder, "I shall accompany you then."

Tony scoffed, "Thor, you stick out like a sore thumb. I so did not mean to make that pun. My point is, Barton will be better off being subtle."

"I'll take Bruce with me."

Bruce gawked at Barton, "Me? Are you kidding?"

Barton smiled, "Nope. You're used to blending in with crowds and trying not to be noticed. And if we run into trouble you're instant muscle."

"Um, thanks?" Bruce did not look happy with the idea.

Barton hooked an arm around Bruce's shoulder. "Aw, it'll be fun."

 

A few hours later JARVIS informed Tony that Sitwell was back in Washington. Barton and Bruce waited a few more hours before sneaking out of the Tower. Tony and Thor camped out in the command center just in case they were needed. Each Avenger had a panic button built into their suits and Tony had made Barton promise to actually use his if he ran into trouble.

"But I'll have the Hulk with me, he's my panic button."

"I will revoke your internet privileges."

"Fine."

Thor got bored waiting and went and got Rex to play with. He brought Mittens back with him and deposited the tiny tabby cat into Tony's lap. Tony soon discovered that the cure for insomnia was a cat purring in your lap.

 

_He's naked in bed. Someone warm and strong moves next to him. Tony pulls them closer. “Are you okay?”_

_“I've been worse.”_

_“That's not really an answer." Tony points out. "Some dickheads from Shield were asking about you and Romanoff.”_

_“We're okay, a friend took us in.”_

_Steve shifts and Tony can feel he is naked too. He runs his hand lightly across Steve's hip and down his leg, the man really was all muscle. “I should be there with you,” Tony sighs, voice full of regret._

_Steve reaches out hesitantly laying a hand on Tony’s arm, when Tony doesn't pull away, he pulls Tony closer. “We have a plan, tomorrow we're going to grab someone who we think has information.”_

_Tony leans in, his lips brushing Steve's jaw. “Barton told me to stay put, says I'm too high profile to sneak down to you.”_

_“He's right, you're too loud and gaudy.”_

_Tony laughs, “Is that something you'd change about me?”_

_Steve pulls back to look Tony in the eye, “I don't want to change you, that's never been my goal. Sure I get annoyed at things you do, doesn't mean I don’t love you”_

_Tony's breath catches in his throat._

_Steve presses on, “I love you, and I've hated being away from you. I left because I couldn't stand being around you and not being able to have you. I wanted to respect your decision. But I've missed you.” Steve wraps his arms around Tony and buries his face against the hollow of Tony's neck. “I've missed you so much,” he sobs, clinging on for dear life._

_Tony pulls back and Steve lets him go reluctantly. But Tony only goes far enough to turn his head and kiss Steve. Steve makes a needy sound and Tony deepens the kiss. He wraps one arm around Steve's waist and uses the other to grip the back of Steve's head, he shifts his hips to line their hard cocks up._

_Steve gasps, throwing his head back. “Ah!”_

_Tony pulls his hand away from Steve's waist and works it between them. At the same time he leans in and begins kissing Steve's exposed neck._

_“Tony, yes. Please. I need you.” Steve's hips are jerking against Tony's. His large strong hands grab onto Tony’s ass and pull him close. Tony manages to get_   _his hand around  Steve's cock and Steve lets out the most wonderful groan._

_Tony sucks and kisses Steve's neck while his hand pumps up and down Steve's cock. Steve keeps gasping and moaning, encouraging Tony on. “Yes. Oh yes. Please.” Normally Tony would be making just as much noise, but he is completely focused on Steve, recognizing how much the other man needs to let go and be taken care of._

_He can feel Steve's hot cock as it swells bigger in his hand. Tony is just as hard, but he ignores his own need. Steve bucks his hips against him, hands groping Tony, desperate for release. “Just like that. Just like that. Tony!” Steve's hips jerk one last time, back arching, and Tony feels Steve's shaft pulsing before hot semen covers them both._

_He holds Steve as the other man catches his breath. “Thank you,” Steve whispers._

_Tony kisses him. “When all this is over, I'm coming to get you, whether you like it or not.”_

_Steve holds him close, “I think I'll be okay with that.”_

 

An alarm blaring through the building woke Tony up. He nearly fell out of the chair he had been sitting in. The sudden movement upset Mittens, who jumped off of his lap and hid under a nearby desk. It took him a few seconds to realize he was still in the command center at Avengers Tower "What the hell is going on?" he asked as Thor came running in.

JARVIS answered him _, "Sir, Agent Barton and the Hulk have been attacked by what appears to be Shield personnel."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, over a hundred kudos! I give you all kudos in return. Thank you so much!  
> Mastiffs are one of the worlds largest breeds.  
> Chapter title is from the song We Found Love by Calvin Harris featuring Rihanna


	9. Don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me

"Barton, talk to me," Tony called over the comms as the armor assembled around him.

_"We're pinned down. Couple of SUVs pulled up and cornered us, they've got heavy artillery and are not afraid to use it around civilians."_

"Where's Banner? Did he Hulk out?"

_"Yeah, but they hit him with something, it's making him act .. weird."_

"Weird?"

_"He told me he loved me."_

"Oookaaay. Thor and I are on our way, hang tight." Tony blasted out of the Tower with Thor right behind him. Tony followed the GPS to Hawkeye and Hulk. They were in the middle of the Garment District surrounded by black SUV's and armed Shield agents. One of the SUVs had been torn in half, most likely the Hulks doing. But the Hulk was now lying flat on his face and the only good he seemed to be doing was acting as a barrier for Hawkeye to hide behind.

Tony swooped down, laying covering fire as he went. The agents backed off to regroup as Thor came charging in. Tony landed next to Hawkeye. He wasn't in too bad of shape, just a few minor wounds. "Friend's of yours?" Tony asked gesturing to the Shield personnel.

"If by 'friends' you mean people I want to punch repeatedly in the face? Then yeah, they're great friends." Hawkeye answered as he let loose another arrow.

"What did they hit the Hulk with?"

"I dunno, they actually got Bruce first. Sprayed him with this purple slime, it was all the warning we had that we were being attacked."

Tony scanned the Hulk. He was covered in a fine layer of the slime Hawkeye had mentioned. "It seems to be reacting with the gamma radiation in his blood." Tony did a quick scan of Hawkeye, he had some slime on him too but it wasn't doing anything. "Yup, definitely made to take out the Hulk." He looked down at the sleeping giant. "It must also be keeping him from changing, otherwise he would have reverted back to Banner by now."

"Fascinating. Can we go now?"

"Yeah, tactical retreat seems like a good option."

Hawkeye grinned at him, "Cap's rubbing off on you."

"Kiss my ass, Barton. Thor, we're gonna need help moving Hulk."

Thor had been taking the heat off them but was not having an easy time of it. The Shield guys had brought energy weapons that were obviously based off the old Hydra designs. He'd dodged most of them but there was a Thor sized hole in a nearby building. At Tony's call, Thor leapt over on of the SUVs and landed next to them. He grabbed one of Hulk's arms and hefted him up over his shoulder in the world's most impressive fireman's carry. "I have him. Take Barton." Thor twirled his hammer and took off.

"You heard the god, hop on Katniss."

Hawkeye let loose an arrow, it exploded into a smoke screen. Then he swung himself up onto the back of the armor, hooking one arm around Tony's neck. "Let's go Terminator."

Tony took off, aiming straight for the Tower. It was easy to spot Thor ahead of them, well, it was easy to spot the Hulk. A giant green thing flying through the air was hard to miss.

"Thor, you read me?" It was always best to check if Thor's comm was still working, he hadn't seen him call down any lightning so chances were good it hadn't been fried.

_"Aye."_

"Take Hulk right to the decontamination chamber. JARVIS can guide you. Just get him inside it, the rest is automatic."

_"Understood Iron Man."_

He watched Thor and Hulk disappear inside the Tower. They weren't too far ahead and soon Tony was carefully landing on the Avenjet pad. Barton slipped down off his back and they both went inside. "J, is the Hulk getting his shower?"

_"Yes sir, and I collected a sample of the nerve agent."_

"Good man." He flipped the face plate up but opted to keep the armor on until he was sure they were safe. He looked Barton over, "Need some band aids?"

"I got it," he pulled out one of the many medical kits and started patching himself up.

"So those guys were definitely Shield? Did they say anything?"

Barton shook his head. "Nah, just sprayed down Banner then started to shoot at us. Hulk jumped in front of me so I didn't get hit. They must have thought the slime would affect him sooner."

Barton was doing his detached mission voice, but Tony had known the guy long enough to know he was shaken up. Tony understood. Betrayal by those you thought you could trust more than anyone? That hurt the worst. "Were you able to get ahold of any of your contacts, find out about Cap and Widow?"

Barton shrugged as he bandaged a cut on his forehead. "All I could find out is that Alexander Pierce has branded Cap a fugitive, just like Sitwell said. Nobody really seemed to know anymore. Which is disturbing all on it's own."

"Right, if a bunch of spies don't know what's going on then the shit has really hit the fan."

"I did get another message from Nat. It wasn't much. Basically confirming she's with Steve, things are bad but she doesn't know how bad. She threatened me with physical violence if I tried to come after her. They've got another ally and they're gonna try and get more information."

"Yeah, Steve said they were with a friend and that they had a plan." Tony hadn't realized quite what he'd said until he saw Barton staring at him.

"When did you talk to Steve?"

"Ah, last night." He tried to cover up his mistake. "While you and Banner were out."

"What did you do while we were out?" Bruce came walking in with Thor. He was dressed only in his super stretchy pants and was barefoot. He was drying his hair with a towel.

"Tony talked to Steve last night," Clint answered. "How did he get a hold of you? I know he's smart enough he wouldn't have just called you."

"Um, it was, um, he.."

"Was it while you were sleeping?" Thor asked.

"Sleeping?" Clint looked really confused. "How would he have contacted you while sleeping?"

"Because of the Heilagr-Binda."

Thor really needed to stop being helpful.

"The what?"

"He means soul-bond. Yes, I talked to Steve last night in a dream because of our soul-bond, happy?"

Clint's eyes had gone huge, "Soul-bond? Are you telling me that you and Steve? You guys-? Holy Shit!"

"That seems to be the general consensus." Tony sighed. "Wait, I thought you already knew."

Clint frowned, "How would I have known?"

"Natasha knows, Steve told her. I figured she would tell you."

"Oh she would have told me, no doubt about that. Which means she doesn't know."

"But, she was being all judgy after Steve left." Tony had really thought she knew.

Clint chuckled, "That's because she knew you two had had a fight and she thought you guys just needed to man up and get over your differences. She was giving Steve crap about it too."

"Oh," Tony felt kinda like an idiot. He had been so caught up in how awful it was to be stuck in a soul-bond he'd forgotten that to everyone else it probably just looked like he and Steve hated each other.

"Hold on," it was Bruce's turn to look confused. "You spoke to him in a dream? The only recorded cases of that were between Twinflames."

Everyone turned to look at Tony. "Uh, yes?" Clint and Bruce stared at him in shock. Thor just looked pleased.

"Holy shit," Bruce breathed out.

_"Sir, the no fly zone around the Tower has been breached."_

Tony was facing away from the large windows of the command center, he just saw Bruce's look of fear and knew things were about to get awful. He slapped the faceplate down and dove for Clint, he got to the archer just as large caliber bullets ripped through the glass. Clint was already curling into a defensive position as Tony wrapped his arms around him and shoved him to the ground. He felt a few bullets hit the armor but they didn't pierce the outer shell. They hit the floor and even though Tony stuck out an arm to keep the full weight of the armor off Clint, he still heard the archer let out a grunt at the impact. Clint curled up tight to make himself a smaller target, utilizing the big suit of armor that was shielding him. "You know," Tony said to no one in particular. "I'm getting tired of people shooting out the windows of the places I live."

The distinctive roar of the Hulk shook the room. There was the sound of big things crashing together, an explosion, then the hail of bullets that had been keeping Tony and Clint down stopped. Clint immediately scrambled up and got behind a support beam for cover and pulled out his bow. Tony twisted around so he could see the damage.

Four attack helicopters were hovering right outside the window, spraying the whole floor with bullets. There must have been five originally because they were all evenly spaced except for right in front of Tony, where there was a big gap. And the Hulk was nowhere to be seen so Tony made some assumptions. A second helicopter went down when Thor's hammer crashed through it.

"J, what's going on?!" Tony yelled as he targeted the other three helicopters and let lose a spray of missiles.

_"There are multiple inbounds, varying in size and armament. The Hulk is on street level where several Shield armored vehicles have surrounded the building and are firing at him."_

"Shit!" Now that JARVIS said it, Tony noticed that behind the choppers they'd just dealt with, there were dozens of new ones waiting. Along with them were a bunch of little drones swooping down and around the building. "Thor we got multiple incomings." Tony launched himself out of the hole that had been some very nice windows. The HUD showed Thor doing the same and soon the two of them were trying to take down the choppers. Not easy when you were also trying not to kill the pilots and crew, there were going to be casualties, this was a life or death situation, it was bound to happen. But that didn't mean they couldn't try to keep them to minimum. The drones on the other hand, Tony blasted those things with a vengeance.

Arrows were flying out of the hole in the tower. Most of them were the ones with a small EMP in the head. Hawkeye was taking down choppers and drones by frying their on board systems. Tony caught site of the Hulk, still down on the street, the wreckage of a chopper smoking nearby. It looked like the ground forces were trying to get into the building and were having a hard time of it. Thor flew by Tony and he noticed that several of the drones had locked onto the god and were firing a familiar looking blue light. "JARVIS, please tell me those weapons aren't what I think they are."

_"The energy signature matches that of the scepter that was taken from Loki after the Battle of New York."_

"Are you kidding me?! Shield didn't learn from the Tesseract fiasco they had to mess with the scepter too?"

_"It appears so."_

"What is wrong with these guys? That's it. J, remind me not to build them anymore cool toys for their Helicarrier."

_"Noted sir."_

Tony targeted the drones and took out several but more just kept coming.

_"Sir there are now over half a dozen drones that have locked on to you."_

"Alright, fire up the rear defenses and-"

_"Sir, incoming!"_

The drone hit him on his left side. There was a flash of light and the HUD went dark along with everything else. Tony had a moment to understand what had happened. The drones must have had EMPs on board and were programmed to hit him hard enough to crack the outer shell and allow the EMP to penetrate through the shielding. Tony felt himself falling and he wondered if he'd be lucky enough to have Hulk or Thor catch him. Right as he started to have flashbacks of the last time this had happened, he felt himself jerked to a very sudden stop. The armor impacted with, what he assumed was, the side of the building a few times before he stopped. He hung there for a few seconds, catching his breath and celebrating not being dead.

"J, you there? Come on buddy, we gotta reboot the systems." A few seconds later he was rewarded with the HUD flickering back to life. "Talk to me J."

_"Systems are back online sir. I'm sorry to report that the Tower has been breached. Defense systems have been engaged. However, drones similar to the one that just hit you are in the ventilation shafts."_

"Shit." Tony checked his surroundings. He was hanging from the building, the claw of a grappling arrow was wrapped around his left arm. He was going to have to make Barton something really cool as a thank you present. "Hawkeye, you there?"

_"Iron Man, you dead?"_

"Not as yet. Anything exciting going on up there?"

_"Thor's been hit multiple times by those drones that are spitting out the blue light that looks way too much like something I'd like to forget. He went down once but Hulk caught him and they're both back up here. Some of the drones are carrying that purple slime and they've hit the Hulk with another dose. He's starting to get loopy, won't be long before he's out."_

"Fuck!" Tony sliced through the grappling wire and shot skywards. "Remember how Cap's starting to wear off on me?"

_"We're already heading for the Avenjet."_

"Meet you there. JARVIS, enact protocol CLEAR SKIES."

 _"Running protocol now."_ All around the upper levels of the Tower little holes opened up and small projectiles were sprayed out. Tony had designed them to be able to pierce through steel and armor, but once they got a hundred yards out from the Tower, a small incendiary device exploded them into harmless powder that blew away in the breeze. Around him helicopters and drones were being bombarded by the little spikes, causing damage as they were hit by literally thousands of the things. As he flew up the side of the building the projectiles stopped long enough for him to pass unharmed.

Hawkeye had the Jet up and running when Tony reached it. He flew in the open hatch in the rear of the Jet. "Get us out of here Barton."

"I'm on it." Barton closed the rear hatch, fired up the engines, then used the forward guns to blast a clear path through any of the helicopter and drones that were out of reach of the spikes. They took off and Barton immediately headed out over the Atlantic.

Tony slumped against the wall. Hulk was laid out on the floor snoozing. "We have got to figure out a way to counteract that stuff." He said, mostly to himself.

Thor wasn't looking so great either with multiple scorch marks and patches of burned leather showing newly healed skin. "Those weapons were the same as Loki's staff."

"I know Thor," Tony sighed.

"I was promised that it would be safe here on Midgard."

"I know."

"That Shield would lock it away. Not use it for more foolish experiments!"

"I know! Obviously something has gone horribly wrong or did you not notice that our allies just tried to kill us!" Tony let his temper burn out just as quickly as it had come. "We'll figure it out Thor, we just need to-" The emotion hit him like a freight train. It was a tangle of disbelief, shock, hurt, hope, and a bunch of other things Tony had no idea how to identify.

Steve.

Something was wrong with Steve.

He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block out the emotion, just like he did every other time the bond let him feel what Steve was feeling. But this time he couldn't and the more he fought it the worse it got. Strong hands grabbed him and kept him from falling.

"Iron Man! Stark! What is it?"

Tony tried to answer Thor but as soon as he opened his mouth he threw up. The emotion was pounding through his skull and was rapidly changing to just soul wrenching anguish, the kind that you didn't even know how to process. The kind that made people just shut down because they didn't know how to handle it. "Bucky," he gasped out.

"What did he say?" he heard Barton calling.

"I don't know," Thor was still holding Tony up. "It sounded like 'bucky'? I don't know what that means. Stark, you need to tell us what's wrong."

Tony wretched again. He felt like his head was going to explode. He fought even harder against the emotion. "Steve, Steve, Steve." The name just kept coming out. He had to get to him, had to make sure he was okay.

Thor grabbed Tony's face in one hand and made him look up. "Stark listen to me. Do not fight the connection, let it come through. Stark? Tony!"

But Tony was done. He'd been in two fights and fell a couple of stories. He closed his eyes and let himself pass out.

 

 

He came to. He was out of the armor and something warm was wrapped around him. He sat up and a blanket fell away. He was still on the Avenjet and his head was killing him.

“Easy my friend, you've strained yourself greatly.” Thor held up a water bottle and Tony took it and drained half of it in one go.

“What happened?”

“An excellent question. Tell me, where you feeling strong emotions coming from Rogers?”

Tony glanced over, “Yeah?”

Thor nodded knowingly, “And you were trying to block them out?”

“Of course, middle of a battle, not a great time to be feeling someone else's angst.” Tony swung his legs off the cot he was on. He thought about standing up but quickly dismissed that as a horrible idea. Bruce, who was no longer covered in slime, came over. “Need something for the headache?”

“You have no idea how much.”

Bruce grabbed a bottle and fished out a few pills. He handed them over along with another bottle of water. “From what Thor said you could have been seriously hurt if you hadn't passed out.”

“You guys been having fun talking about me?”

Bruce frowned at him. “We were worried about you. If I had known you and Steve were Twinflames .."

"What? You would have made us hug it out?" Tony's head was killing him and it was making him crabby.

"Denying a Soul-Bond, especially a Twinflame is not something you do on your own Tony." Bruce scrubbed a hand over his face. "If you hadn't blacked out you could have had a seizure. Didn't anyone ever explain that to you?"

Tony shrugged. Yeah, someone probably should have told him, it was supposed to be part of the standard puberty talk. "I got the birds and the bees talk from the original Jarvis, but since my parents were Soul-Bonded he felt like it was inappropriate for him to tell me about that stuff. Of course my parents weren't going to talk to me about it, they were too busy hating each other." Bruce already knew the story, Thor looked like he was suddenly having an epiphany.

"You're parents? They were unhappy in their union?"

"That's putting it mildly," Tony scoffed. "Look, can we not have this conversation now? It's not really the best time."

Bruce and Thor exchanged a poignant glace. "Actually Tony, now might be a really good time." Before Tony could even ask, Bruce plowed on, "Clint got us away from New York, we were being followed so we cloaked until we got well over the Atlantic. Clint just uncloaked about twenty minutes ago and we were finally able to get in contact with Steve and Natasha. They figured out what's going on and why Shield is suddenly attacking us." Bruce sucked in a breath and let it out, Tony recognized it as one of his calming techniques. "Hydra has been infiltrating Shield ever since it was founded by your dad and Peggy Carter. And now they are making their move."

Tony listened in mild disbelief as Bruce explained everything, right up to how Steve and Nat were going to try to take out the three Helicarriers along with the help of an ex-Air Force officer. "Are you shitting me?" Thor and Bruce looked way too serious for it to be a joke. "How long till we get to D.C.?"

"Tony-"

Tony got up and brushed passed Bruce, "Clint, how long till we're back in D.C.?"

Clint turned the pilot's chair around to face Tony, "Uh, didn't Bruce fill you in?"

"Yes. Hydra still around. Teammates going on a dangerous mission. How long till we get there?"

Bruce put a hand on Tony's shoulder, "Tony," he said it so very gently, "we're not going back. We can't."

Tony spun around to face him. "Really? Is there something wrong with the Jet? Cause the guy who designed it is on board, pretty sure I can fix any problem."

"Tony, Steve is going into battle and you have no idea how to actually handle strong emotions from him."

"We've been in battle before."

"That was different. Steve is usually really great about compartmentalizing and staying cool under pressure, but this time-" Bruce paused and took another steadying breath. "The emotion you felt from Steve earlier, his friend Bucky Barnes, some how he's alive and he's being controlled by Hydra. Steve has already had to fight him twice and they're pretty sure he'll be there to stop them from taking down the Helicarriers. Can you imagine how much conflicting emotion that's going to cause Steve."

"I have to go to him Bruce." Tony felt like he was slowly dying inside. "It's my fault he left. I told him I wanted nothing to do with our bond. I tried to- I kept it a secret from Pepper, he knew I was. I-" Tony sank down to his knees, "I fucked everything up."

Bruce crouched down next to Tony, "We're trying to get as far from D.C. as possible, the distance will help. Then Thor has under thirty minutes to help you learn how to handle emotions over a Soul-Bond. If he can't, if it doesn't work, then I'm going to sedate you. Because if we can't help Steve right now, then we're going to help you. Got it?"

Tony nodded.

"Um, hey," Clint called from the front of the Jet. "I've got Steve on the line. They have to head out but he wanted to talk to you Tony, before they go."

Tony rose to his feet and went up front. Clint gave up the pilot's chair and headed to the rear of the Jet, where he and the others would pretend not to listen. Tony sat in the chair and there was Steve's face on the video-comm. "Hey," he croaked.

Steve smiled, or at least he tried to. He looked tired and sad. _"Hey. Clint told me what happened. Tony I'm so sorry, I had no idea you didn't know how to deal with the emotional bond."_

Tony waved it off like it wasn't the serious thing it was. "How are you? You okay? Sorry, dumb question, you're not okay. Are you at least not horrible?" Steve laughed, and a tight knot Tony hadn't even known was there, loosened a little inside his chest. "I should be there."

_"I've got Natasha and Sam backing me up."_

"Is Sam this mysterious friend? Should I be worried?" Watching Steve laugh was never going to get old.

_"He uses something your company made actually. The Falcon wings."_

"Really?" Tony leaned forward. "They're my design, made to get in and out of places a helicopter can't go but you need something bigger than a drone."

_"See, I'm not going into this without you."_

Tony's heart ached so much, much more than he ever thought possible.

On the screen Steve looked at something behind him. Tony caught a brief glimpse of Natasha. Steve turned back to face the screen, _"Tony, I gotta go. Clint said Thor's gonna help you out?"_

"Yeah, and worst comes to worst Bruce has promised to knock me out."

Steve smiled, _"Good. Well I should-"_

"I meant what I said," Tony blurted out. Steve looked confused. "What I said about coming to get you, I meant it. Whether you like it or not."

Steve ducked his head, then brought it back up to look at Tony. His face was so full of raw emotion, Tony wished he could reach through the screen and kiss him with everything he had and maybe even with something he didn't know he had. _"I meant what I said too."_ Steve said in barely more than a whisper. He stared at Tony for a few more seconds, looking like he wanted to say something else, but thought better of it. _"See you soon."_

"Yeah." The screen went dark and Tony just sat and stared out the front of the jet for several minutes before Bruce finally came and got him.

 

Thor sat Tony down and talked all about how the emotional connection between Soul-bonds was there to allow the one to give emotional support to the other. Thor went on and on about visualization and breathing, and Tony tried really hard not to roll his eyes too much. At a certain point Thor had said as much as he could and Tony was just going to need to try it out for himself. Either fortunately or unfortunately, Steve seemed to be keeping a tight grip on his emotions for the time being.

They reached the shore of South Africa and Clint found a place to land. Tony was told in no uncertain terms to just keep his butt on the cot, and if he even thought about getting up Thor would pin him down with Mjolnir. Tony had the best friends.

He was in the middle of negotiating a bathroom break when blinding emotion hit him. Thor was there a second later, gripping Tony's shoulders. "Remember, breathe evenly. Try to visualize sharing a burden with Steven." Tony tried to breath evenly but his head was killing him and all he could visualize was Steve in a battle with his crazed ex-best friend. "Stark, you have to focus!"

"I'm trying!" He yelled, the pain making him lose it. "It's not easy you know! Not like you've ever had to do this!"

A shadow passed across Thor's face. "Perhaps not, but you are not the first I have helped through feeling the agony of their beloved." Tony pulled back, he remembered Thor telling him Loki's Soulmate had died. Thor continued to talk, his voice solemn, "We had been sent on a diplomatic mission by our Father. Loki had not wanted to go because .. she had been ill, but Loki was needed because he was, as always, the better diplomat. We were in the middle of crossing a mountain pass when Loki suddenly stumbled and fell. He knew what was happening and he couldn't focus, I sat across from him on the ground, just as I am with you now. I told him to focus, just as you need to. I told him to visualize helping her, easing her burden .."

As Thor spoke Tony could suddenly see in his mind a rocky landscape. Thor sitting across from Loki, behind them was a tall mountain.

_On the mountain was Steve he was trying to climb up it. He had a large rectangular slab of rock braced on his shoulder. He was gasping and panting as he tried to climb the mountain with the rock. He was struggling. He needed help. Tony came up behind him, he was wearing the Iron Man armor. He grabbed the back of the rock and hefted it up, relieving Steve of some of his burden. Steve looked back, he was smiling at Tony. It was a magnificent sight._

"How is he doing? He's breathing better."

"Aye, he is allowing the emotions to flow and he is taking some of them on. Rogers should be feeling the effects as well."

"He looks really out of it though, this can't be a good solution if they're ever both in battle."

"He will get better with practice until it shall become second nature. Stark and Rogers' bond is strong. Each lifetime they have spent together has strengthened it. It will take more than their combined pride to break it."

"Have you met Stark's pride?"

_Tony stayed with Steve on the mountain, holding his end of the slab as they trudged upward. He would stay with Steve as long as he was needed. He would stay with him forever._

_He noticed Steve was beginning to stumble again. "Steve? Steve, what's wrong?" Steve's shoulder's slumped and his head dropped. Tony had never seen that look on Steve but he still knew what it meant. "Steve, stay with me. Don't give up."_

_Steve let the slab of rock fall to the ground with a heavy thump._

_"Steve?"_

_He crumpled down to the ground._

_"Steve? Don't you dare." Tony ran to him and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Don't you dare give up on me! Steve!" There was a roaring sound and Tony looked up to see a wall of water heading towards them._

"Steve!"

"Tony? You okay?"

Tony looked around frantically, he was still on the Avenjet. Thor and Bruce were crouched in front of him looking worried. "What?" He gasped. "What happened? I was there with him, I was doing the whole visualize thing, then Steve just suddenly gave up. And then I lost the connection." He looked back and forth between Bruce and Thor. "What does that mean?" Bruce frowned but Thor swallowed, looking like he'd realized something and it wasn't good. "What the hell does it mean?"

"Calm down Tony," Bruce held up a hand to try and keep Tony from jumping up from the cot. "Clint is on the radio with Natasha. She's gotten clear and is reporting everyone's status."

Tony brushed off Bruce's hand and practically ran to the front of the Jet. Clint had an earpiece in and was listening to it. When he saw Tony he flipped a switch and the comms began broadcasting over the speakers.

 _"Stay where you are."_ It was Romanoff.

Then an unfamiliar voice yelled over the comms, _"Not an option!"_

"Ask her about Steve." Tony demanded of Clint as more chatter went back and forth between Romanoff and the mystery guy.

Clint just held up a finger.

 _"We've got Wilson."_ Romanoff called. _"Hill, you know Rogers' position?"_

Tony held his breath. The comms were silent for a few seconds as everyone waited for the answer. Then Hill answered and Tony felt like he'd been dunked in ice water.

_"Rogers was still on the Helicarrier when it went down."_

 

Turned out when Bruce said he would sedate Tony if things got bad, what he'd really meant was that he would have Thor knock Tony out if it looked like Tony couldn't keep it together. For the third time in only a hand full of hours, Tony came to on the Avenjet. The side of his face was freezing cold and his head was pounding again. Then he remembered why he'd been freaking out.

"Steve!" He tried sitting up but Thor was there and shoved him back down.

"Be at ease Stark, Romanoff and Fury have found Captain Rogers and he is alive."

"What?" Tony wasn't so sure he was just dreaming.

Bruce leaned over him and put the ice pack back onto Tony's bruised face. "The Helicarrier he was on went down into the Potomac. Natasha flew up and down the banks for ten minutes before they found him lying on the far bank of the river. He's unconscious but breathing. They're taking him to the hospital as we speak."

Tony processed Bruce's words, desperately wanting them to be true. "He's okay? They found him?"

"Yes, Tony, they found him." Bruce tried to suppress a smile, "They, uh, they spotted the star on his uniform from the air."

Tony let the news sink in before letting his head thunk back down. "Fine, the star can stay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The purple slime is from an episode of Avengers Assemble, season 2 episode 6. It made the Hulk act all goofy before passing out. And yes, he told Hawkeye he loved him. It was hilarious.  
> I have this problem with question marks, I forget to use them. I don't know why.  
> I'm trying to finish this whole thing up by the weekend, lets see if I can manage it.  
> Chapter title is from the song Shut up and Dance by Walk the Moon  
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments, they keep me going. Mostly because they remind me that there are actual people reading this and they would like me to finish sooner than later. ;)


	10. All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow

Tony walked into Steve's apartment. "You need to have a word with your cleaning lady."

Steve sighed, surveying the mess. "It wasn't this bad the last time I was here. There was just the blood and bullet holes then. Looks like it got searched after I left. Probably looking for the drive Fury had given me."

The place had definitely been tossed. Aside from the mess of all of Steve's things being searched, there were also random holes in the walls, the cushions of the couch had been sliced open and the stuffing pulled out, they had even opened up every package of food and dumped it out. "I don't think you're going to get your security deposit back."

Steve shrugged, "Shield was the one paying the lease."

Tony helped Steve go through everything, trying to find anything salvageable. Most of it was ruined beyond repair. Tony found Steve's record player in several pieces. He remembered Steve had come back to the Tower with it one evening after he'd taken a drive through UpState New York. He'd found it at a garage sale, along with a bunch of vintage records. He'd been so happy to have found it, telling the team how a few of the records were from the 1940's. They'd all sat with him in the common area that night, listening to old records and swapping stories of their own adventures.

Steve came back into the kitchen area to find Tony at the counter, trying to see if the record player could be fixed. "All the internal parts are still there," Tony told him, not really looking up from where he was stripping the end of a wire so he could reattach it. "But you're either going to need a lot of super glue or we can see if it's possible to replace the casing." When Steve didn't answer, or even move, Tony finally looked up. Steve was just standing there, staring at Tony. "Um, something wrong?"

"You're fixing my record player."

"Yeeaah? It's one of your favorite things. Did you not want me too?"

Steve practically lept over the counter, grabbed Tony, spun him, pressed him against the counter and started kissing him. "You're fixing my record player," Steve gasped between kisses. "Just because you know I like it."

Tony gasped for breath when Steve pulled away, "If this is the reaction I get every time I fix something of yours, then I'm in luck. Cause there's a lot to be fixed in this apartment."

Steve laughed and leaned back in, pressing his whole body against Tony's. Tony relished the feeling of Steve's hot mouth on his. He swiped Steve's lips with his tongue and was granted entrance. He moved slowly, letting Steve set the pace, tongues just barely brushing as they kissed. Steve may have been living in the modern age for a while now, but he still had old fashioned experience when it came to sex. Tony was happy to let him take his time and go at his own pace. Not that it was really a hardship, Steve wasn't interested in going slow, he wanted to catch up to Tony.

He showed it now by pulling Tony in close and deepening the kiss, tongue stroking against Tony's, hips grinding. Tony moaned against Steve's mouth. "Please tell me your bed is still in one piece."

Steve huffed a laugh, "It looks just like the couch."

"Bastards."

 

They finished picking through Steve's stuff and headed back to the hotel. They'd needed to stick around town to tie up some loose ends before heading back to New York. So Tony had booked the largest suite at The Ritz-Carlton. There was enough room for everyone, including Steve's new friend Sam. Plus they did a great room service spread that fed even the god and super soldier's appetites. The staff had been generously tipped to thank them in advance for not telling where the Avengers were staying. Natasha and Steve were wanted for questioning, so everyone was staying out of sight. Except Bruce and Thor, but even they were taking great pains not to be followed back to the hotel. It involved multiple town cars and some very sneaky and talented chauffeurs.

Thor and the Hulk were helping clean up. At first it had just been Thor. When the press had questioned why, Tony's PR guy had sent out a brief statement telling everyone that Banner had a very bad history with the US military and so he did not feel comfortable being so exposed in the Nation's Capitol.

The press had been all over it, replaying footage of Hulk helping in London after the dark elves attack. Including the video Tony had taken of Hulk playing with the giant blue dog (Tony loved his PR guy). There were interviews with officials in London who went on and on about how much the Hulk had helped and had not been a menace or danger to anyone.

Before the end of the day the President had issued a full pardon for Banner and the Hulk, Tony's lawyers had been sure that loophole was covered. The Secretary of Defense promised that no military action would be taken against one of the Nation's heroes. Bruce had taken the news with stunned silence, holding the pardons reverently in his hands. Thor had clapped Bruce on the shoulder, then drug him out of the hotel room to have the Hulk help him pull the wreckage out of the Potomac.

Steve had tried to help with clean up, cause he was such a boy scout. The resounding consensus from the Avengers was, Hell No! He was still healing from his multiple gunshot wounds and having nearly drowned. He kept insisting he was fine. No one believed him, especially since he kept passing out on the couch after dinner.

That was where he currently was. Tony had ordered room service before everyone got back and made Steve eat early. Now he was curled up next to Tony on the couch. Not even Tony's constant fiddling could get him to stir. Tony was working on fixing the magnet he'd made for Steve's shield. Steve had broken it a while back on a mission and hadn't told Tony, he got a lecture for that.

Steve's friend Sam had commandeered the remote and was flipping through the news channels. The big story of course being the downfall of Shield and Captain America crashing three Helicarriers.

Thor and Bruce had come back soaking wet. Showered and dressed, they were chowing down on steak sandwiches as Thor gave a running commentary on the footage of them pulling huge chunks of scrap metal out of the river. Tony liked the small smile Bruce had as Thor explained how the Hulk kept making sure there were no fish or other river wildlife stuck in any of the wreckage. The news had footage of a very traumatized river otter clinging to Hulk's arm as it was carefully lowered back down into the water.

The super spies had crept back in a short time ago. Natasha and Clint had been out trying to find out which of their former colleagues could be trusted and were still around. Now they were both sitting on the opposite couch. Natasha, curled against Clint, looking beat down. Clint was doing something with the pate and caviar. He spread them on pieces of bread, added some lobster meat, then stuck it all together. He held it up proudly, "Look, the world's most expensive sandwich."

Natasha smiled at him, "Does it even taste good?"

"So not the point." Clint took a bite anyway. "It's actually pretty good." Thor was immediately up making himself the same sandwich. Natasha grinned as Clint offered her a bite. "We should get some of that gold leaf they like to put on desserts, would totally put this over the top."

"Barton, stop wasting my food." Tony said.

"I'm eating it," Clint brandished his half eaten sandwich, "'Sides, we are the epitome of not wasting food. The guys who clean up after us said usually they're throwing half the food away with their other guests. We're the only ones who leave nothing behind."

"That's because Thor and Steve are bottomless pits."

"Right! Bottomless pits who want some gold leaf dessert. Right Thor?"

Thor settled back down with his World's Most Expensive Sandwich and a plate of sushi. "Why would one eat gold? There is no nutritional or medicinal value to it?"

"That's not the point."

Tony tweaked a wire on the magnet and suddenly Steve's shield came crashing through the door of the bedroom. It would have hit Tony if a very muscled arm had not shot up and caught it. "Maybe you should wait to fix that back in your workshop," Steve mumbled tiredly, gripping the shield tight as Tony tried to shut the magnet off.

"Steve," Clint called out. "You wanna try the world's most expensive sandwich?"

"Sure, why not."

 

They each had their own room in the suite, an important feature when you had a bunch of type A personalities on the same team. Tony's room was the master suite. He had the most stuff with him so, he'd argued, he needed the biggest room. Okay, it wasn't a ton of stuff. It was just the Iron Man armor and Tony's portable repair kit. But the armor took up a lot of space.

Tony got ready for bed and crawled under the covers. The bed was huge and, not for the first time, Tony thought about how much cozier it would seem if someone was in it with him. He tried to push the thought away, Steve was still healing, despite his protests. Plus Tony figured Steve would want more privacy when they finally spent the night together. Or maybe Steve didn't even want that at all? Maybe it was just in dreams that Steve was willing to have sex with Tony? After all Tony had hurt him a lot and maybe Steve needed time to get over that? Steve had been so hurt by Tony's actions that he hadn't even asked Tony to fix his shield magnet when it broke. No, instead he'd taken it to some Shield techs, who had probably just made the problem worse by their poking around .. Oh! Tony knew exactly what was wrong with the magnet. Why hadn't he noticed it earlier?

Tony got up, grabbed the magnet and his repair kit and got to work. He was just finishing up when the door to his room opened quietly and Steve slid inside. Tony looked up at him, "Hey, you're just in time. Here," He held the part that went on Steve's arm. "Put this on so we can test it out, I think I've got it working now."

Steve took the piece, and placed it on top of the nightstand.

"No, I need you to put it on so we can test out-"

Steve grabbed Tony and pushed him down onto the bed. Tony made a grunt of surprise as Steve landed on top of him. "You know what? We can test the thing later."

Steve grinned at him, then leaned down and began kissing Tony. He went straight for hot and heavy, tongues deep in each others mouths, teeth clashing, small moans of pleasure. Then Steve shifted slightly and Tony gasped. Steve was just wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants and Tony could feel how hard Steve was. Tony's own erection was not being hidden any better in the pair of boxers he'd gone to bed in. Steve lined his crotch up with Tony's and ground them together.

Tony tried to suppress his moan. "Steve." He was already panting. "Steve, what are you doing? Please tell me this is going to lead to sex."

Steve chuckled, "That's what I'm hoping." He bit down lightly on Tony's bottom lip, pulling back slowly, teeth scraping and feeling incredible.

"I can vouch for my end. Oh! Oh yes!" Steve kissed down Tony's neck, stopping to suck at his collar bone. "I'm absolutely up for that, literally."

Steve laughed again.

Tony ran his hands down Steve's back, feeling the hard muscles and noting that all the bandages were gone. "Are you, um, are you going to be okay doing this? You still seemed pretty worn out this evening. I don't want you to feel like this is something you have to do. I can't believe I'm actually trying to talk someone out of sex."

Steve pulled his head back up so he could look Tony right in the eyes. "Tony, Shut. Up." Steve growled out with his 'Captain Authority' voice. And Tony couldn't believe how much that turned him on.

"It takes a lot to get me to shut up, you should know that by now." He was sounding really breathless.

Steve smirked, "I'll take that as a challenge."

"Oh hell," Tony groaned. Steve grabbed him by the hips and hefted him further up the bed. The show of strength had Tony gasping for breath. "Steve." He surged up, grabbed Steve behind the neck, and kissed him hard and wet, trying to see if he could shove his tongue down Steve's throat.

Steve groaned and started to run his hands up and down Tony's back, clutching and pulling, like he was frantic to feel all of Tony at once. Then he slipped his hands under Tony's shirt and started to pull it up.

Tony hadn't let anyone see him without a shirt on since the incident with Obadiah. He hadn't let anyone see the Arc reactor, not even Pepper. It was a trust issue, Tony knew that. Now Steve, hot and heavy on top of him, was seeking admittance, asking for trust.

Tony lifted his arms up and let Steve pull his shirt up and off.

The light of the Arc reactor reflected off Steve's eyes as he looked down at Tony. Right then, Tony realized that he'd been missing something his whole life. Turned out it had been something Steve shaped.

He pulled Steve back down, reveling in the feeling of that chiseled chest pressed against his. They kissed and Tony ran his hands down Steve's back, stopping right at the waistband of his pants. He carefully slipped one hand under the fabric and caressed the firm flesh. Steve gasped and bucked against Tony, which felt amazing. Tony kneaded the muscle of Steve's very fine ass, causing the man to moan and writhe in pleasure. "Tony. Oh. Oh yes."

Tony used his other hand to slowly pull down the waistband of Steve's pants, giving him plenty of time if he wanted to stop Tony. But Steve just wiggled out of them and kicked them to the floor before going back to kissing Tony.

Then Steve's hands were pulling at Tony's boxers, tugging them down and throwing them across the room.

Steve pressed down on Tony, his eyes were squeezed shut and he was gasping as he jerked against him. Tony recognized the signs and gripped Steve's hip with one hand and his ass with the other, grounding Steve to him. Steve's arms were braced on either side of Tony and he could see the muscles in them straining as Steve lost control. He cried out, hips pushing down hard on Tony, shuddering as he came.

Tony couldn't help the smile on his face as he watch Steve trying to regain his breath.

"I'm sorry, Tony. I'm, I'm sorry."

"Whoa, hey, calm down." Tony stroked Steve's back, trying to calm him. "That's perfectly normal for a virgin."

Steve was looking embarrassed, "It is?"

"Yup, even I had that happen to me once. Though if you tell anyone that I will vehemently deny it." Tony smiled at Steve's huff of laughter. "Besides, you're refractory period seems to be unusually quick." Tony explained what he meant by wiggling his hips a little to feel where Steve's dick was already getting hard again.

Steve's eyes widened as he realized what Tony meant.

Tony stroked Steve's ass, "Maybe we could do something else." He let one finger trail down the cleft and was rewarded by Steve gasping and nodding his head.

"Yes, yes, yes."

"Just so we're clear, that was a yes?"

"Tony!" Steve cried his voice strangled.

Tony laughed as he pushed against Steve's shoulders to get him to roll over. Once Steve was on his back, Tony went for the night stand where he had stashed some lube, because he was an optimistic bastard. There was plenty of lube from Steve's earlier climax, but Tony wanted to be extra sure since this was Steve's first time.

He took a moment to appreciate the sight that was Steve Rogers laid out naked on his bed. His entire body was perfectly sculpted muscle, smooth and tanned. His chest was rapidly rising and falling with each breath, it accented his pecks. Oh, his pecks. There should be symphonies and poems and epic ballads written about those. Tony had seen Steve without his shirt plenty of times, but now he was allowed to touch. So he gave into impulse and lowered his mouth down and licked at one perfectly hard nipple. Steve gasped and arched his back up. Tony accepted the invitation and mouthed at his nipple.

"Oh, oh wow. Tony. Wow." Steve moaned as Tony suckled and nipped.

Tony flipped the lid of the lube open, one-handed. He squeezed to coat his hand in the liquid, then tossed the bottle aside, the whole time never stopping his attentions to Steve's nipple. He nudged Steve's legs open, then reached his hand down to Steve's hole. When his fingers made contact Steve clenched up. Tony kept his fingers where they were, letting Steve relax as Tony swirled his tongue around Steve's pert nipple. Steve relaxed slowly. Tony licked slowly, dragging his tongue across Steve's chest, then he bit down, just a little harder than he had been. Steve's reaction was immediate, he threw his head back, gripping Tony and holding him tight. At the same time Tony slipped one finger inside Steve. He carefully pumped the digit in and out, looking up at Steve. "Doing okay?"

Steve nodded. His eyes were wide and his breathing harsh.

"You sure? We can stop anytime."

Steve shook his head. "Don't you dare. Don't ever, ever stop."

Tony smirked. He moved over to the other nipple and began licking it. Steve moaned his approval. Tony laved attention on Steve's nipple as he slipped another finger in and continued to pump in and out of Steve's hole. When the second nipple was nice and red Tony kissed his way down Steve's stomach. Steve's breath hitched when Tony reached his cock. He glanced up at Steve. Steve was watching him wide eyed. Tony opened his mouth slowly, enjoying the look of wonder on Steve's face. Slowly, with painstaking care, he licked Steve's cock from root to tip. Steve gave a shout and came again.

Tony shouldn't of laughed, but it was so adorable. Steve looked absolutely wrecked, his face turning red with blush as he scowled at Tony. "You did that on purpose." He accused.

Tony laughed again. "Yes I did." Then he slide a third finger in and watched as Steve's eyes rolled back in pleasure.

"Oh, Tony."

"I'm curious," Tony mused as he slowly spread Steve open. "How far gone do you need to be before some really great filth starts pouring out of your mouth." Steve tried to scowl again. The effect was ruined by his rapid breathing and blown pupils. "Cause I intend to fuck you so hard and fast that you're gonna forget who you are, where you are, and why anything else matters besides the feeling of my throbbing dick slamming into you." Tony hadn't thought Steve's pupils could get any wider. He was wrong.

"Now." Steve gasped. "Now, Tony."

Tony slipped his fingers out of Steve and lined himself up. He had every intention of taking it slow, very aware that he wanted to make Steve's first time something to be cherished. Steve had other ideas. Or maybe the same one. As soon as Tony began to push inside him, Steve wrapped his legs around Tony's waist and pulled. Tony was thrust inside Steve in one hard push. "Aaahh!" He cried out as the pleasure blinded him momentarily. Steve didn't let up, using his legs and hips he started rocking their bodies together. "Ah! Steve! Fuck!" Tony gave in. He braced his arms on the bed and thrust into Steve as hard and fast as he could. Steve grabbed Tony's arms and met each of Tony's thrusts, adding his own strength. It was amazing.

"Tony. Yes! Harder, harder, harder."

Tony knew he should be adjusting his thrusts, try to find that perfect angle to hit Steve's prostate. But he could hardly think, the pleasure was so intense. And the heat. Oh the _heat_. "You're so hot, holy shit. So hot. Fuck, Steve." He'd never felt such heat in his life. "How the Hell?! Are You This HOT?!"

Steve shifted the position of his legs and cried out as Tony's angle shifted with them. "Ah! There, there! Right there!" Steve used his legs to slam Tony's cock inside himself with even greater force. At this point Tony was just trying to keep up with him, he was hardly using any of his own strength, it was all Steve.

Steve gasped, his eyes scrunched shut and Tony felt hot semen hitting his chest. The feeling of Steve climaxing was too much. Tony cried out, slammed into Steve and went stiff as his release hit him. The world fell away as Tony rode it out.

After he collapsed on Steve. He felt Steve's chest rising and falling under him. Tony's breathing slowed, but he noticed Steve's wasn't. In fact it was becoming more and more irregular. Tony rolled off Steve so he could see what was wrong.

Tears were rolling down Steve's face.

"Steve? What? Did I hurt you?"

Steve shook his head, "I'm sorry, I don't know why. I just .. It just started. " Steve squeezed his eyes shut.

Tony wrapped his arms around Steve. "That's another perfectly normal part of sex. Sometimes after you've had the Week From Hell, sex breaks down the very strong and carefully laid walls that keep us together. The result? Post orgasm manly tears."

Steve huffed a laugh. He wrapped his arms and legs around Tony. They stayed together, clinging to each other as Steve let all the heartache pour out. Tony could feel how much his lover was hurting. But here, with Steve in his arms, it was easy to follow Thor's lessons and imagine himself sharing the burden with Steve.

After Steve calmed down Tony coaxed him to the shower so they could get cleaned up. Then they climbed back into bed and Tony wrapped Steve up in his arms again. He felt the man's muscles relax and his breathing even out.

Tony checked his phone for important messages before going to sleep. He saw he had a text from Clint. Which seemed kind of odd since as far as he knew, Clint was asleep in his own room. He opened it up, worried something was horribly wrong.

_OMG!!! U 2 R LOUD!!!!!!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The World's Most Expensive Sandwich is based on a story a friend of mine told about the food waste he saw when he worked at the MGM Grande in Las Vegas.  
> Chapter title is from the song A Thousand Years by Christina Perri  
> I'm thinking 2 more chapters then this will be done. It's sad and exciting at the same time.  
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments. I love them!


	11. For you are mine at last

_**The place where souls reside in the time before creation-** _

He watched as others passed by him. The other souls often avoided him, he thought it might be because he shone brighter than them. It wasn't completely unusual, some souls were brighter, it was just the way it was. He had been told it was because he was destined for great things in his lifetimes. He wasn't so sure, it just seemed like a good way to be singled out.

"Hello."

He turned to see who was talking to him, no one ever talked to him. It was a soul that shone just as brightly as him. And he was smiling. At him. "Um, hi?"

"I saw you, from a long way away. So I came here to find you and meet you." He was still smiling. Was that normal?

"Okay, well you did."

"Why are you by yourself?"

"Why are you still talking to me?"

The other soul laughed, "Because that's how you make friends."

He was confused. Friends?

The other soul frowned. It wasn't nearly as nice as his smile. "Don't you have any friends?"

He looked away. "I don't need friends. I like being alone."

"No soul likes to be alone."

He frowned. "I do."

"Why?"

This other soul just did not want to leave. It was weird. "When I try to talk to others they get upset. So it's better to be alone."

The other soul sat down next to him. "Why do they get upset?"

He sighed, "Because I know more than them and they don't like it."

"What sort of things do you know?" The other soul looked like he actually wanted to know. Fine, he would tell this soul, tell him the things he had tried to tell the other souls. Once he heard them he would want to leave.

He gestured out at the darkness around them. "I look at those dots of light and I wonder what they are. No one else cares, but I do. What are they? Why are they there? So I studied them and I found out that they are not dots but huge balls of heat. And they are there to give warmth to the worlds that are being created. The warmth will allow things to be alive."

The other soul was staring at him in wonder, "How did you study them?"

He gave a little shrug, "I went out to one of them."

"You can do that?"

He found that he wanted to answer. To explain. "Yes, you just have to concentrate and you can go anywhere. Then when you want to come back you just think it."

The other soul's eyes were wide. "Teach me."

"What?"

"Teach me how to travel to other places."

"Um, okay." So he taught the other soul. At first they just did little trips around their home. But once the other soul had learned how to do it well, they took a trip out to one of the balls of heat.

"What is it called?" The other soul asked. The light from the ball of heat was reflected in his eyes.

"It doesn't have a name yet. When the worlds are populated the people will give them a name. Each world will have a different name for it. And even then they may have many different names for the same thing."

The other soul smiled at him. He thought that smile was even brighter than the ball of heat. "I'm glad you are my friend." The other soul told him.

 

They spent most of their time together. The other soul had many other friends and he introduced them. The other friends were just like them, brighter than all the rest. He learned that he was not the only one who wanted to know things. Many of his new friends liked to explore and learn. They would share what they had learned with each other. And sometimes they would go out and explore together. He enjoyed having friends.

But that first soul, his first friend, he was his favorite friend.

 

Time passed. The worlds were starting to be populated. The number of souls in their home was shrinking. They had been told that none of them would come back to this particular home after their mortal life was over. Each world would have it's own after life, perhaps even several per world. It made him sad when some of his friends left. He wondered if he would be able to travel the worlds and find his friends again.

Some souls decided they didn't want to risk losing their favorite friend. There was a way, it was whispered, a way to make sure you could still find your favorite friend even after you had forgotten them from this life. It only worked if the two souls were very similar, almost mirror images. The souls could bond by exchanging a piece of themselves. Not through touching, that was forbidden. They could sort of break off a piece and let the other soul absorb it. Then when they met in the mortal life, they would immediately recognize the piece of themselves the other held. Then they could be together in that life and even in the life after.

There was another, darker whisper. A whisper that for some, just one life together was not enough. They wanted to spend all their lives together. They wanted to be able to always find their favorite friend through each reincarnation. These souls did something drastic to accomplish this.

They touched.

It was forbidden because when two souls touch their essence combined and could never be separated. They would always remember each other, no matter what veil was placed over their memories.

 

He was told he would have to go soon, it was time for him to move on to his mortal life.

He searched frantically for his friend. He thought maybe the other soul had already left. Maybe he had been sent on to his mortal life. It filled him with so much dread he couldn't even think straight. Why had he put off asking his friend if they could bond? He had been afraid of the answer and now, now he could never ask it.

He sat down, head in his hands. He ached with sorrow because he was never going to see his friend again. Or worse, he would see him and not know him.

"What's wrong?"

He looked up. There was his friend standing above him. "I thought you had left."

His friend smiled, "I had to see you."

He looked at his friend, his bright shiny friend who meant everything to him. He wanted to ask him if he would do the bonding so they could find each other again. But the words got stuck in his throat.

“Well,” his friend said slowly. “I, I have to go. I really hope I see you again.”

“Touch me!” He blurted out.

His friend looked at him in shock.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-“ he'd ruined everything.

His friend kept standing there, looking at him. Then he slowly extended his hand.

He couldn't believe it as he reached out in return.

Their fingers touched and there was a brief flash of pain, like a warning. They ignored it as their hands clasped. Energy flowed back and forth through them. He felt the very essence of his friend and knew his friend was feeling the same from him. He felt warm and loved. He was no longer a single soul with nothing to call his own. Now, he was one half of a whole.

His friend smiled at him, warm and bright, the most beautiful thing he would ever see.

They leaned in and rested their foreheads together. There was no transfer of energy this time, their energies were now the same.

His friend brushed his lips against his cheek. “Now I can always find you.”

 

_**Ancient Egypt-** _

The sun was dipping low in the sky as Apries surveyed the work being done on the Pharaoh's tomb. The pyramid design was unlike anything anywhere else. Tonight the Pharaoh himself would honor his accomplishment.

“I can't believe it actually worked.”

Apries looked to see the Pharaoh's Chief Adviser standing next to him. “Of course it worked, I designed it.”

The Chief Adviser scoffed. "A dose of modesty would do you some good."

"Modesty is for those who cannot accomplish what they set out to do."

The Chief Adviser was unimpressed. "Perhaps. Maybe you could try for some tonight in front of the Pharaoh."

Apries shrugged, "The Pharaoh is the Sun God Ra given life. I am but a shadow next to him." The Chief Adviser looked a bit stunned to hear Apries speaking thus. Apries smiled. "Still, he could not build something as fine as this." He spread his arms wide to indicate the greatness of the pyramid behind him.

The Chief Adviser snorted. "Your creation has attracted some attention it seems."

"Oh? Not surprising."

"A group of travelers saw it from a far and changed course to see what it was. One of the travelers is a warrior prince. He and his entourage have been welcomed by Pharaoh. They shall be at the feast tonight."

Apries grinned. "And they wish to meet the great architect responsible for the most beautiful of creations."

"Hmm, well actually, I believe the Prince said that he wanted to know who would mar an otherwise lovely view of the valley." Apries sputtered at the insult. The Chief Adviser patted him on the shoulder before turning to go. "I'm sure you will be able to convince him of his folly. See you tonight."

Apries watched the man go. No doubt the Chief Adviser had made sure that the words the foreign Prince had spoken against Apries' creation were spread around the Pharaoh's palace. It wouldn't matter, the opinion of one man didn't change the greatness of the Pharaoh's tomb. He left the work site and went home to bathe and get ready for that evenings feast. The one in his honor. Surely someone had explained that to this Prince.

Apries arrived at the palace clad in his finest garment. He had adorned himself with several very costly pieces of jewelry. No one would be able to mistake his wealth and importance.

The feast was just as grand as Apries had expected. The Pharaoh had honored Apries by giving him a seat next to his throne and spent a good portion of the first course asking Apries questions about his tomb. Apries answered them all gladly and he could tell the Pharaoh was impressed by his ingenuity.

Then the Chief Adviser approached. Behind him were several men dressed in strange clothes. The garments were long, looked heavy, and covered most of their faces. Apries had asked about the visitors and had been told that their skin was so light that the sun actually burned it, thus the reason for the many layers of cloth.

Apries stood as they approached. He planned to tell this foreigner how he had no understanding of Egyptian architecture. But all thought and reason left him when the man pulled back the cloth hiding his face. The Pharaoh was supposed to be the Sun God given life, but Apries now wondered. For this man before him shone far brighter than the Pharaoh ever had. His skin was indeed very pale, like the first rays of the sun shining in the morning. His hair was golden, as if it were made up of the midday light. While his eyes reflected the perfect blue of the heavens.

And Apries knew him. He had always known this man. Every day of his life he had been waiting for him to come and shine his light on Apries and fill him up with the warmth of the sun. Apries held a hand out to his love.

The Prince clasped the offered hand and pulled Apries close to him. "I found you."

 

_**Present Day- After the incident in Washington D.C.-** _

The Avengers were all back together again. They'd drifted for awhile but now they stood strong together. Well. Mostly.

Barton still had annoying little quips he liked to throw out, which was especially bad when he aimed them at the Hulk. Natasha was still reserved and secretive sometimes. Bruce had bouts of depression that Tony felt honor bound to snap him out of. And Thor was becoming obsessive about finding Loki's scepter.

Then there was Steve, who was still perfect. Which naturally got on Tony's nerves. And in turn Tony got on his nerves with his less-than-perfectness. Still it wasn't as bad as before because there wasn't that added tension of trying to dance around the fact that they were soulmates. Plus the make-up sex was phenomenal.

Tony's PR guy had suggested keeping the relationship under wraps until the D.C. thing had calmed down so as not to muddy the waters. They didn't want people to accuse them of doing a publicity stunt, or the news overshadowing the more important topic of Hydra. So they waited.

It wasn't too hard to keep it a secret since they were usually only in public together when they went out as a team to take down yet another Hydra secret base. Battle and suits of armor did not make for sexy or romantic moments. And when they weren't out battling the forces of evil, Tony was holed up in the tower working on over three dozen projects. Everything from new designs for the team's uniforms, to new propulsion on the jet, to algorithms that looked for data that would lead them to their next Hydra base or to where Barnes had got to. Tony personally thought the last one was unnecessary. Steve was like the sun, his gravity outclassed everything else in the galaxy, Barnes wasn't going to be able to stay away.

Tony's PR guy eventually gave them the green light to announce the relationship, but Steve didn't think announcing they were together needed to be done with a press release. Tony had humored him and they decided that they would just act like a regular couple in public and the news would get out on it's own. Kinda how everyone else's relationships worked.

They keep busy for a few weeks after that so the world in general was still in the dark. There were a few rumors here and there that two of the Avengers were dating, but everyone assumed it was Natasha and someone else, usually Barton. Natasha found it hilarious and began seeing how often she could get photographed hanging off the arm of a fellow Avenger.

The news finally came out at a charity event the Avengers attended. It was to benefit some relief fund for some place, Tony wasn't clear on the details. He just knew Pepper had told him it was a good cause by a reputable group and The Avengers could be confident in showing their support. So they all got dressed up and went to raise money for something worthwhile.

The sight of Steve in a tux resulted in the team having to wait for them and they were a bit more than fashionably late.

Actually Tony blames the tux for everything. He kept trying to convince Steve to have the thing framed.

Natasha had decided that Bruce was going to be her current boy toy, according to what the media would write the next day. Thor had been able to bring Jane so she was making sure he kept to acceptable Earth behavior. And Clint had triple promised to be good. So Tony and Steve were free to enjoy an evening together.

They sat next to each other at dinner and leaned in close when the other was talking. Steve often placed his hand at the small of Tony's back as they made their rounds. Tony tried to convince Steve to try some escargot, which resulted in a photo of Steve looking at Tony with exasperated fondness. They went out to the balcony and leaned against the rail, shoulders touching, as they talked about everything from the Mars Rovers to whether or not dress shoes that stayed shiny was cheating. Towards the end of the evening, Tony pulled Steve out onto the dance floor and they slow danced as the band played At Last.

Tony's PR guy's phone was ringing off the hook all the rest of the night as reporter, after news agency, after gossip columnist called to ask if Steve Rogers was dating Tony Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this chapter planned from the very beginning. I really wanted to take Tony and Steve's relationship all the way back to when it started. And explain the difference between a regular soul-bond and a twinflame.  
> I also wanted to show Steve and Tony's relationship being outed to the public. Not in some grand gesture or a formal press release. Just by them acting like a normal couple out in public, without a lot of fanfare.  
> Apries means 'The sun enlarges his heart' (see what I did there?)  
> The chapter title is from the song At Last that has been sung by a lot of different artists but I like Celine Dion's the best.  
> Thank you so much for the kudos and the lovely comments.


	12. Remember me for Centuries

"And this is your room." Tony swept into the room at the new Avengers facility. Steve stepped in behind him, looking around. "You like?"

Steve poked around taking in the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. "My room?" he asked as he looked over the 42" flat screen Tony had installed.

"Yup. It's the biggest one, don't tell anyone, they'll think it's favoritism."

Steve stopped in the middle of the room. "Why is it just my room?"

"Did you want to bunk with Clint?"

"Tony." Steve had this way of explaining all of his exasperation in just one word.

"I'm going to be spending a lot of time back at the Tower. And, you know," Tony shrugged as nonchalantly as possible. "With all the stuff lately, thought you might need some time."

"By stuff do you mean keeping potentially world ending projects from me?" Steve asked, eyeing Tony.

"Yeah, that."

Steve ran a hand through his hair. "Tony, that was months ago. I'm not mad anymore. I stopped being mad right around the time you helped defeat Ultron."

"I know you said that-"

Steve placed his hands on Tony's shoulders. "I understand that this is hard for you, but it is possible for people to forgive and forget."

"I know other people get forgiven."

Steve pulled Tony close and looked him in the eyes. "Tony, repeat after me, 'Steve has forgiven me for nearly destroying the world.' "

Tony rolled his eyes but obediently repeated, "Steve has forgiven me for nearly destroying the world."

" 'Steve loves me and does not need any time.' "

"I'm not doing this."

"Yes you are."

They stared each other down before Tony gave in with a sigh. "Steve loves me and does not need any time. But I'm still going to be off at the Tower a lot. I promised Pepper I would actually start doing more R&D for Stark Industries. And you're going to be busy training your new team. By the way, keep an eye on Rhodey, he seems like a good little soldier but I know better."

Steve pushed Tony slowly backwards until he felt the wall against his back. "I know we're both going to be busy for a while, we'll just have to make sure the times we're together count double."

"And how would you suggest doing that- oh!" Steve grabbed Tony by the waist and lifted him up. Tony automatically wrapped his legs around Steve, but instead of the wall sex he was hoping for, Steve carried him to the bedroom.

"I noticed the bed is extra large." Steve grinned, oh so wickedly.

"California King, nothing but the best for my baby."

Steve tossed Tony down onto the bed then straddled him with his thighs of steel. Steve leaned down and slowly kissed Tony. "I've missed you." he breathed against his mouth. They hadn't seen each other for over a month because Steve had been off Bucky hunting. Tony lifted his hips up to let Steve know how much he had missed him too. Steve chuckled, then undid Tony's belt, pulling it from his pants in one smooth motion. He grabbed Tony's wrists and brought them up to the bedpost.

"Wait," Tony gasped as he felt Steve securing his wrists to the bed with his belt. "Take my shirt off first this time instead of ripping it off when you get impatient later."

"I promise I won't rip it this time."

"That's what you said last time. I'm going to make you start explaining to my tailor how my clothes get ripped so often. Maybe then you'll learn."

Steve undid the buttons on Tony's shirt and pushed it out of the way as well as he could with Tony's arms bound. "There, happy?" he asked.

"No," Tony pouted.

Steve hummed. He leaned down and started kissing Tony's chest. "How 'bout now?"

"A little better, I suppose."

Steve moved further down, kissing and licking as he went. "Now?"

Tony's breath hitched. "Things are definitely improving."

Steve reached Tony's pants and undid them. Then he slowly pulled out Tony's hardening cock. Steve hovered over it for a second, then looked up at Tony. "You didn't put us next to Clint did you?"

"No, I'm not that mean. We're on the corner and there is a utility closet between us and the next bedroom. Plus I made the walls extra thick."

Steve smiled, "Good, cause I plan to fuck you until you scream."

"Whoa!" Tony widened his eyes mockingly. "I am not comfortable with that kind of language in the bedroom."

Steve glared at him. "It's time to let that go Tony."

Tony grinned, "Never."

Steve looked away at the wall thoughtfully. Tony was about to suggest Steve go back to what he was planning, when Steve suddenly took Tony's cock completely in his mouth. Tony sucked in a huge gasp of air and Steve pulled off with a pop.

"You bastard," Tony panted.

Steve grinned and admonished, "Language."

"Oh I'm gonna give you language you- oh Fuck!" Steve sucked on the head of Tony's cock, then slowly took more and more of his length. His tongue found the sensitive spot right under the head and rubbed. "Yes, oh yes, oh baby, just like that." Steve pulled up, like he was going to pull off again, then he went back down, taking the full length of Tony's cock, all the way down to the root. "Fuck!" The head of his dick was pressed deep in the back of Steve's throat. It felt so amazing. "Yes, yes baby." He felt Steve start swallowing around the head of his cock and he groaned at the sensation. "Steve!" He tried to push up with his hips, desperate for more, but Steve had his hands on Tony's hips, holding him down. Tony groaned again then wrapped his legs around Steve, using them to pull him closer since his hands were bound. Steve responded by taking Tony even deeper. "Holy Shit! Ah, Steve I'm close, I'm so close." It was building up and Tony was torn between wanting the release and never wanting Steve to stop. Steve sucked harder and Tony wasn't given a choice as he pulsed down Steve's throat, body convulsing with pleasure.

Steve sat up as Tony tried to catch his breath. "Hmm," he mused. "No screaming. Guess we'll have to keep going."

"Definitely." Tony gasped. "Side tables already stocked."

Steve slowly stripped out of his clothes then crawled over Tony, purposely letting his heavy cock drag over Tony's abs, making Tony moan at the sight. Steve found the lube and ever so slowly crawled back down and settled between Tony's legs.

"You are such a tease," Tony said, watching as Steve pulled off Tony's pants. "I'd tell people how much of a tease you are but they'd never believe it."

Steve slid one large finger inside Tony. "You're tight," he sighed.

"It has been a while, hasn't it?"

Steve grimaced. "Sorry I was gone so long."

"Oh don't worry, I jerked off plenty of times to the memory of you ripping that log in half."

Steve's eyes went wide, "Really?"

"Without a doubt the hottest thing I've ever seen."

Steve smiled bashfully and slid a second finger into Tony.

"So what about you? What do you dream of when you've got those big, strong hands wrapped around your hot cock?" Tony loved to see how far he could push Steve before he lost all control and just fucked Tony with wild abandon. Tony's hands were bound so he couldn't drive Steve crazy with touching but he could still use his words.

"Tony," Steve groaned, probably knowing what Tony was up to.

"I've told you mine. What does the good Captain like to think about as he gets himself off? My lips wrapped around your cock?" He was rewarded by Steve gasping and his fingers slamming into Tony's ass. "Maybe this is what you like to think about, huh? Tying me up, stretching me out, shoving that huge cock of yours so deep inside me."

Steve was panting now. "The lab."

"What?"

"In the lab." Steve's hips making little thrusting motions into the air as he tried to concentrate enough to finish prepping Tony. "When I was trying to stop you, with Vision, and, and you called one of the gauntlets to you."

Tony's eyes went wide, "That's what gets you off? Me with the armor getting ready to fight you?"

Steve groaned, "You looked so strong and confident."

A slow smile spread over Tony's face. This was going to be fun. "You liked the idea of me being strong enough to take you down?" Steve's pupils were blown wide and his breathing was getting heavier and heavier. "Maybe you were thinking about how I could be the one holding you down instead of the other way around?"

"Tony," Steve gasped. His fingers had stilled as he tried to get a hold of himself. Tony was having none of that.

"Or maybe you wanted to be able to dominate me while I was in the armor?"

"Ah!" Steve threw his head back, eyes squeezed shut. Fuck, he looked so georgous.

"Make me submit to you? Should I call the armor now? I can get out of these bindings, flip us over."

"Tony!"

"Hold you down and ride you like a-" Steve pulled his fingers out and shoved his cock inside Tony in one hard thrust. "Ah! Yes!" Steve grabbed Tony's thighs and used them to steady himself as he frantically slammed into Tony, over and over again, driving his dick in deep.

"Steve, yes, harder, take me harder." Tony strained at the leather holding his hands over his head. He just wanted to touch Steve, feel his muscles as he pounded into Tony. "I need to touch you," he said out loud. "Please let me touch you."

If Steve heard him he didn't show it, he was too far gone. His eyes were screwed shut, head thrown back, hips going hard and fast, breathy, keening sounds coming from his mouth. Then he shifted Tony up higher and found his prostate. "Ah!" Tony felt his own dick starting to swell again as Steve hit his prostate with each thrust. Steve gasped and his whole body stiffened and bowed over as he came and Tony felt the hot cum filling him. "I know you've got more in you," he panted as Steve paused, arms braced on either side of Tony's head. "Come on baby, I thought you were going to make me scream?"

Steve crashed their mouths together as he began thrusting into Tony again. Tony could feel Steve's dick quickly hardening again, and the new angle was rubbing Tony just right where his cock was trapped between their bodies. He moaned into Steve's mouth as Steve fucked Tony with his tongue at the same time as he was pounding his ass.

Tony pulled against the restraints again, he had to touch Steve, it had become a nearly frantic need. Steve must have sensed it, or was just as desperate to have Tony touching him. He reached up to where the belt was holding Tony's hands up and snapped the leather. Tony shook the remains of the belt off and grabbed for Steve. He ran his hands through Steve's hair, gripped his strong, broad shoulders. Rubbed them up and down Steve's back, then down to that perfect ass, making Steve moan as Tony grabbed a cheek with each hand.

Steve wrapped his own arms around Tony as he continued to fuck into him. Tony could feel his second orgasm slowly building. Steve's abs were rubbing against his dick with each thrust and it was intense. The heat was pooling in his groin and he was becoming more and more desperate for air. Finally he jerked his mouth away from Steve, sucked in a huge breath of air, "Ah! Steve!" he screamed as the pleasure broke and thrummed through his whole body. 

Steve's thrusts quickened before his body went stiff and he came for the second time in Tony.

They stayed as they were for a minute, breath slowing. The Steve leaned down and kissed Tony as he pulled out. "Told you you'd be screaming," he smirked.

"You ripped my belt," Tony pointed out.

"But not your shirt."

 

Tony woke up the next morning to feel Steve pressed up against his back, arms and legs clinging tightly around Tony as Steve was wont to do. The man really loved to cuddle.

He also felt Steve's morning wood pressed up against the small of his back. Tony shifted and pushed back against Steve in invitation. Steve gasped, then slid easily inside Tony. He gently rocked his hips, kissing Tony's neck and shoulder as they slowly made love. "Don't go back to Manhattan today," Steve whispered against Tony's ear.

"I, I have to. I have appointment or something." Tony gasped back, trying hard to think while Steve was buried deep inside him.

"Reschedule them. Or I'll reschedule them. I'll say it's an Avengers emergency. They won't say no to Captain America."

Tony gave a breathy laugh, "That's an abuse of authority."

"Don't care." Steve wrapped a hand around Tony's dick. Tony loved the feel of Steve's strong hands, the calluses from throwing his shield, the heat coming off his skin. He came with Steve pumping his fist up and down on his shaft. Steve kept up his gentle pace, whisper in Tony's ear how much he loved him, how beautiful he was, and begging Tony not to go.

 

Tony ended up rescheduling meetings and staying for a few more days.

 

When Tony was young he felt that the worst thing that could happen to him was to get soul-bonded to someone. He had watched it ruin his parent's lives and mistakenly thought that the people who were happy in their soul-bonds were either delusional, lying, or incredibly lucky.

Tony wasn't lucky and he wasn’t delusional. He did not want a soul-bond. And any kind of long term, stable relationship was just a pipe dream.

He continued to believe this throughout most of his adult life.

Then he'd meet Pepper.

Pepper had been wonderful and he'd thought that somehow he'd managed to find the one person who would actually put up with his crap. She was his everything. No one was better for Tony than her.

Then a Super Soldier got defrosted and ended up on a Quinjet with him.

Tony eventually learned that soul-bonding doesn't suddenly make a relationship perfect. There are no violins playing and rose petals wafting through the air. You don't suddenly need to be around the person 24/7. Or feel like you're going to die if you have to be separated for more than five minutes. A soul-bond just puts you slightly ahead of the curve. You still have to learn how to love each other unconditionally. You still have to learn how to see when you are wrong and say sorry. And sometimes say sorry even when you really think you're right, cause you were yelling how right you were, and that kinda made you wrong. You have to weather the hard times, even if the hard times are really long, and occasionally filled with super villains. And you do it all because you know that your life is way better with this person in it than it ever could be without.

The Alexandrine Institute for the Study and Tracking of Soul-Bonding has this to say on the subject of soul mates-

_"[Soulmate:] A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet — a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior._

_Your soul-mate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness, and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much more aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful."_

Tony has tried to buy the Alexandrine Institute and have everyone fired, but Pepper wouldn't let him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta da! The end of the fic. Wow, I can't believe i wrote this in just over a week. Go me! I got the idea for it and then the thing was just kinda writing itself.  
> I would like to thank you all for reading, for the kudos, and the encouraging comments.  
> Special thanks to beizanten who's fic inspired this one and who was very supportive of me writing this.  
> Chapter title is from the song Centuries by Fall Out Boy.


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